ENA, NC and the Ex

[solidbunker]

This site is so handy and insightful.

Its a shame we learn so much out of our own miseries and of those of so many broken hearts.

But life shows us that sometimes we just got to learn the hard way.Nothing wrong with that though,but it hurts.

And it hurts cause we have high expectations about life,about what we got to give and about our partners.

Truth to be told,we dont all have the same views,morals or values as our ex's and that doesnt make them bad people.

Their interest,love and what have you might be somewhere else,far from us.

You shouldnt be ashamed of hoping to resolve the issues with your partner, that all gets back as used to be,or even better,but dont let that stop you from getting to a better place with a better partner.Give yourself a chance to discover your full potential,your own happiness.

I thank all my ex's for the experiences,for their lies,for the shared laughter,for the tv moments,for their cheating and bad cooking.

I survived all that and much more,and still walking tall,happy,fulfilled.

It could have been sooo much worse...

Want your ex back ? Careful what you wish for.

[pippy longstocking]

I always used to say I wished that I found this site sooner ..

 

but in retrospect do I ?

 

I had to wade through a few wrong decisions regarding contact , the content of my contact , the aftermath of my contact and the

then doom that was waiting for me ...bah ..

 

doomsday was when I finally found this site .

 

had I found this site sooner and followed advice and everyone elses experience would it have helped .. no ...because I would have become crazy on here ...wanting someone to dictate my every move , his every move .. I was having a breakdown as it was, due

to two other life changing things going on at the same time ....

 

I had to make mistakes ...learn every time I made one and go through my own thought process to find why I made mistakes , why he was doing what he was doing , what kind of effect this and that was having on him , then his response to me ....I think with hindsight had I been on here I wouldn't have had the learning journey I did have ... because I would have been following all your learnings ...not my own.

 

should I now have contact with my ex I am far better equipped to deal with it with a bit of rationale and it will come from a far better

place now , a few months down the line , then the crazy emotiomal wreck I was.

 

but once here..I read and I read and I saw what I did wrong ...but I learnt my way ..and not yours (ena)

[markie6]

I am never sure whether we ever really learn unless it's from our own mistakes. Looking back it's easy to spot them , but by then it's only a question of damage control.

[nrb]

damage control...indeed markie6...

[Minx2012]

I think that if I had never personally experienced the horrible aches and turmoil of a break up when I was a wee, young lassie of 17 yrs old, then I wouldn't be who I am today. At that moment, when he was breaking up with me, I thought it was the end of my life. I couldn't see past the break up. I didn't think that there was a future for me. However, in retrospect, I think, " What a great, valuable lesson I learned at such a young age! Thank the devils." Now, with that lesson learned, if I ever got dumped again, I would be better equipped in handling it. At the time, I had plenty of support from friends, in the same way that people online have support from sites like these. However, those people that read the advice column will have their own moments of grace, fall and depression...but they NEED to experience it anyway.