Rockyr87 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Last night I'm having a casual conversation with my ex and out of nowhere she tells me she's seeing someone. I tell her it's unexpected and she said it was on facebook, but I didn't see it. She told me she deleted it cause nobody noticed or something and I didn't really believe that. Do exes lie about seeing other people to get you jealous or interested or whatever? This is so confusing and I'm not really sure what to think about it. Link to comment
lorraine1378 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 i personally always thought that if an ex lied about seeing someone it would be to make the other person not jealous. i mean who wants to hear about how their ex is talking to someone new, you know? unless of course both ex's are talking like they're going to get back together..in that case it's very very wrong to not let the other person know that they're seeing someone new. Link to comment
californiagirl Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Ofcorse she can lie to make you curious about her seeing someone. Maybe she still wants you back and is trying to test the waters with you how you are reacting on this news, she may also want to show you that she's over you enough to date other people, although in reality she may want to be over you but isent over you yet. If she's really over you she will not call you or meet you accidentely or talk about you with others, so when you see her often it would be strange. Ofcorse she can really be seeing someone, and maybe she's just happy to tell you this! You can tell the way she said it and the way her eyes looked, i mean when there still is anger or she wants to hurt you, you can probably see this the way she said it and how she acted the last time... Link to comment
BananaPeel Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Whether she's seeing someone or not, she is playing games. She wanted an emotional reaction from you. It's time for you to cut her off. If you want to get back with her, and it sounds like you do, you should just tell her that not to contact you anymore unless she wants to get back together. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 Well I didn't see what her expression looked like; we were texting each other. Plus I don't really ever see her since she lives about 3 hours away from me now. The weird thing is, earlier yesterday I told her about my career and where it might be headed after I graduate and she got super excited about it and told me all this stuff and there was just something about it. There's also a general indication that she likes someone and she never really did any of that stuff. It's just so confusing. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Last night I'm having a casual conversation with my ex and out of nowhere she tells me she's seeing someone. I tell her it's unexpected and she said it was on facebook, but I didn't see it. She told me she deleted it cause nobody noticed or something and I didn't really believe that. Do exes lie about seeing other people to get you jealous or interested or whatever? This is so confusing and I'm not really sure what to think about it. Yes, all the time. Particularly when you stay in contact with a recent ex. I don't think there's actually any other reason to stay in contact other than to get back together again and lies and manipulation are par for the course in that situation. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 I want to get back with her. A few times I felt like she wanted to get back with me, but now I just don't know. My gut says she's pulling my leg, but when I think about it I feel upset. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I want to get back with her. A few times I felt like she wanted to get back with me, but now I just don't know. My gut says she's pulling my leg, but when I think about it I feel upset. If you want to get back with her you should tell her that your breakup has hurt you so bad that you need time to heal apart from her. Tell her you don't want her to contact you ever again and that you will contact her if and when you are ready. Link to comment
TearsofFate Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 If it's hurting you then you should most likely back away. I wouldn't say she is lying, but maybe she thinks of you more like a friend now, and feels like she can gossip about her life to you now. Although I do find it suspicious that she said "I deleted the person I'm seeing off of facebook cause nobody noticed?" That's a really bad reason to delete someone off of facebook. If she was really seeing someone new, she'd probably keep them on her fb despite other people noticing or not. It seems like she wants you to think she's dating, when she might not be. Although, she could have been dating someone for a short while too and is just talking about it. Hard to say. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 We broke up almost 8 months ago and she initially contacted me back in October. Edit: Tears- she didn't delete the person off of fb, it was the relationship change or whatever. The mental red flags exploded when she said that. I wouldn't say I'm addicted to fb, but unless she posted it at like 3 am or something I would have seen it. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Don't let this girl jerk you around. Why would you want to deal with that. If she's telling you the truth and she IS in a relationship, ask yourself why you're still torturing yourself pining over someone who has a boyfriend. If she's lying to you and isn't in a relationship, ask yourself why you're talking to someone who is purposefully lying to you and toying with your emotions. The red flag here is you're in contact with an ex that you still have feelings for. I would go NC as the path your "relationship" is going on isn't going to be a healthy one for you. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 I feel like no matter what I do I'm wrong. Link to comment
ks1986 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 What if they lie about seeing someone the opposite way? For instance, in my scenario my ex wanted to be friends and started dating someone 10 days after breakup up but lied about it and hid it for a full 3 weeks until I caught him and confronted him. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I guess my real question was whether or not this sort of thing was common. Regardless y'all have posted some great feedback. Link to comment
secondchance67 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Am I missing something? Why does this matter at all if the person is an "ex"....they have no bearing on your life now - lies or not, right ?? Do ex's lie? Lie when it suits them, to manipulate you, hurt you, play mind games??? Does the sun rise everyday? "Step into my parlor, said the spider to the fly...." Link to comment
rhythm09 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I didn't find out my ex went out with a friend of mine TWO DAYS after the BU till a week after when I just wanted to talk. He said he couldn't bring himself to tell me. I don't know what that entails, but I'm sure it's because he didn't want to hurt me anymore than he did by dumping me. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I would.. only so he can feel crappy. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I would.. only so he can feel crappy. I see what you mean, but she still talks to me and stuff. I've always had this feeling that she never really wanted to break up with me. Link to comment
markie6 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 They are dangerous thoughts Rocky , what you have to remind yourself is that actions speak louder than words. She did break up with you , until that changes look after yourself People lie .. not just ex's all the time, big ones , small ones , little tiny white lies etc etc For so many reasons it just makes your head spin. If someone was to use a lie, in order to force you to keep your distance... that is possible. Try not to overthink what somebody else might be thinking. It's madness down that road, and there are a lot of us there too I see what you mean, but she still talks to me and stuff. I've always had this feeling that she never really wanted to break up with me. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I've gotta remind myself of that every day, markie. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Also, why would she be talking to an ex if she's seeing someone? I never understood that Link to comment
Zero71 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Also, why would she be talking to an ex if she's seeing someone? I never understood that For an ego boost. She is talking to you for the familiarity and comfort. She likes knowing that you will always be a good back-up plan if things don't go as she likes. Plus if the new guy makes her mad she can use you to make herself feel good. Like many people have said go NC. Don't allow yourself to be used or manipulated. Link to comment
dumPI Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Did she lied when she told you she loved you? It feels like she did but who knows ... does your neighbour lie to you when he wishes you to have a good day? ... In the end why caring about what you can't control / is not a real part of your daily life anymore? No one should let himself be played around. Make yourself respected! Link to comment
markie6 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Also, why would she be talking to an ex if she's seeing someone? I never understood that These are her true colours .. This is what she would be like if she got back with you... These are the reasons you shouldn't want to be with her Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 These are her true colours .. This is what she would be like if she got back with you... These are the reasons you shouldn't want to be with her I'm not sure I understand 100% what you mean. When her and I were together her last boyfriend would text her nonstop, but it was always about getting back together and all that nonsense. I avoid that subject when I talk to her even though I want the same thing Link to comment
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