Its just too hard :(

[playstheblues]

You are right about all of these things. You know in your heart (even though being dragged through the mud by your ex doesn't help with judgement) what he is doing now, and that he will probably never change. Abusers use excuses and blame you - I cannot even believe how stupid his 'you were too good for me' so I basically abused you- line was. That is not it. I mean you are too good for him, but he would have abused you or anyone because these are HIS ISSUES- not yours. He can blame you- but it is ALL HIM.

 

Even though you know all this stuff- it is hard to leave and hard to leave behind a relationship. We are struggling through this process and it will be a hard struggle. If you can do anything to stop yourself from going back, you should. It might even be worth tlaking to a psychotherapist/counsellor someone who may be able to help you not get caught up in his BS.

 

He is so SELFISH for leaving you behind but keeping you hanging on with his contact. Cut this A-hole loose. You are better. And he will not stop his behaviour until he changes internally. The way he treated you has nothing to do with you.

[Emma8]

Ok been strong all weekend. Now falling apart today, can't stop crying. Keep wondering if he was with this girl when we were together - they work together - keep asking myself how he can move on with her after being so in love with me, writing me poems saying I'm the one and so amazing. Then suddenly with her. Ugh bad day. Really bad day. Must remind myself he is an arse anyway....And reading your advice again helps. Just hate the fact he is probably happily moving on and I'm still struggling.

[Fraggle]

This whole getting over a break up is much more painful than I imagined it would be and it always feels like the other half just doesn't care. Garbage out- move on with my life. There you lie smashed to pieces and they tread on you on the way out of the door. Delightful!

 

I had a * * * * day last Sunday just crying all morning and doing the same even when I went shopping which was just embarrassing. One thing that has saved me is getting prescribed sleeping tablets so I can catch up on sleep. I was probably averaging 10-15 hours of sleep a week for 6 weeks whilst working which nearly killed me and turned me into far more of an emotional wreak. For the first time today I've had a reasonable day in the UK sunshine not thinking of her too much but I expect there to be another blip soon, probably Tuesday after I have seen my therapist tomorrow evening.

 

This place has also saved me from texting my ex on at least 100 occasions, and supportive words have kept propped up just when I needed them.

 

Deep breath one and all here comes another week.

 

Fraggle tastic

[Emma8]

Today has been slightly better, still consumed by thoughts of him but feel a little stronger.

 

Im home alone tonight and therefore mind will start to wander as I do really miss him he has txt a few times today asking if im ok, even though I havent heard anything all weekend (clearly busy with her). ive ignored and deleted them. Been going to bed at 8.30 to get the day over with but think I might try and stay up a bit tonight.

 

Good luck at your therapist tonight. I hope tomorrow isnt too bad for you. Be strong.