Anger.

[Panther_Dude]

Haven't been to this forum in a long time. I guess to start off, I'll list what I've done in the time I've been gone, then get into what I mean by 'anger'.

 

• I'm still single.
  
• I am now a Pagan. Meaning my religion is nature base. Was Christian..realized it's not for me.
  
• I run/jog now. Usually everyday. 3.25 miles so far a day.
  
• Still taking speech therapy
  
• Going back to school this summer and hopefully for good this time
  

 

By anger I mean...I'm kissless still. And it is something I want to do, but I feel like it won't happen. So, I get mad at myself. I like to jog, but sometimes I use the anger within to jog. And while that is a good thing, channel anger into a positive thing such as exercise. It's now at the point where...if I am injured or sore, boohoo, still gotta jog. Case in point, my left ankle. It's sore. Been for maybe a week ish? I keep cracking/popping it. And I don't have running shoes cause I am poor. But ya know, last few days I have been pissy...because...never been kissed...24 1/2 now...it's just comical. I like the feeling of jogging/running...but I fear now I'm gonna push myself too far cause I've realized today in these early hours, that I hate myself for not being kissed. That I am...I have a fetish, maybe I've told this board about it, but I have paid for a fetish session. It was nice. But I now realize it is something--the act of paying for the service of a woman--not something that sits well inside me. And the first time I had sex, well, this board knows how I feel about that. Ugh.

 

And I dunno how to edit the list, but I do write poems, poetry, songs now.