Starting real NC

[RGWT]

My ex and I mutually broke up about a year ago, she always tried to rekindle things since we lived with one another in a n new city, going to school, but I was too stubborn and we were filled with resentment. In a nutshell I had personal insecurities which made me remote and a poor b/f at times.

1 year later I tried to rekindle and she said it would be better to move on.

We had a conversation, and I stated I could not be friends with her in order to move on. The next day we had another convo saying we WOULD remain friends in the future once we moved on.

THAT following week I reverted back to "No friends ever again", I've been very wishy washy on the subject.

 

One week later, I called her to see how she was doing but ending leaving her an upbeat but not over the top message, simply wishing her well in a neutral non dramatic way.

The next day I called her and she answered, she said she was with her g/f that just got back from Asia, sounded pretty sad and unenthusiastic. I was pretty upbeat again and said I hope the week hasn't been to crazy, wished he well and told her to enjoy the rest of her day.

 

I sent her a text around a half hour later saying: "Hey you lol! All immaturity aside, I do really hope we can remain just friends somewhere down the road. Glad to hear you had a great week, enjoy the rest of your day. Take care."

 

 

I've done a lot of thinking and don't wan't her thinking I need to completely erase her to get over her. If it's meant to be

I'll be able to tell just the tone of her voice or persistance level. I was tired of going back and forth and needed to make a firm decision to stick with.

 

I'm currently dating a few very nice woman, ethically, and I may go on vacation to Korea to meet up with some female friends of mine. I'm sure she's doing the same. Things are getting better, it still randomly hurts like a b*tch and I do possess feelings. Don't intend on lapping up the breadcrumbs but won't mind replying to a potential birthday message this month.

 

Thanks for listening!

[RGWT]

Just randomly got a texts from her at 4am right now, which can only indicate she is drunk (past experiences):

 

"I do too, I'm not trying to ignore u, I'm just trying to recollect my thoughts and not act on impulse. I hope you're doing well too, it sounds like u are and I'm really happy to hear that."

 

 

I've done enough chasing and being persistent of showing her how much Ive changed, but NEVER begging for her back, but for closure and conversations which was still needy and pushed her away.

 

I don't plan on responding, not as a game, but because I don't see a point, she knows where I am and she decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I also don't wan't her sympathy since she saw how hurt I was.

[seoulmate]

First off...I live in Seoul, so get your butt over here and enjoy yourself! It's a cool city to visit.

 

To be honest...I can feel your exhaustion...you seem mentally and emotionally spent. I think you need to go no contact just to get your energy level up again.

[RGWT]

Lol thanks, everyone seems to be from Seoul, are you Korean or teaching?

[seoulmate]

Lol thanks, everyone seems to be from Seoul, are you Korean or teaching?

 

Neither. Here since 2007 for business.

[RGWT]

Does anyone ever feel like they are just in denial? I feel like im overcompensating in other aspects of life, like going out more, dating, excercising, etc.

At the end of the day, I'm still thinking about her constantly. I accidentally texted her last night with a random msg that was intended for a friend, pretty harmless but still. I just apologized felt I shoudl just respond to her last msg I posted about, with

 

"Sorry! In response to your last message, thank you, there's not rush on friends"

 

Does this ever get any better, there isn't much else I can do to occupy my time, and the dating is so frivolous and undesirable right now, I never liked it in general. Truly feel I won't be interested in a serious relationship or marriage for more than a decade.