Crazy for her! ah! Is this a good way to try to get together again?

[CasualDude10]

Please read! Ireally need help and opinion.

 

OK so heres the story.

 

Our Realtionship: (Im 17 shes 16) Me and this girl have been texting for 2 weeks. we never really told each other we liked each otehr but we both knew it. we texted everyday all day. we went on 2 dates over the time. once was a double date and second time was just me and her. well she trusted me. i trusted her. we told each other how goodlucking each other is. and nice sweet blah blah.... We never hugged or kissed. But on Valentines day i got her a small gift. And she told my bestfriend how she just wanted to grab me. later that night she said i was the highliight of her day. Also after the Doubledate she texted my bestfriends girlfriend right after saying how sweet i am.

 

What happened?: We trusted each other and told each other very personal stuff. Hers was that her mother died and her father is now gay. Shes very selfconscious about it. On monday we had plans to go on a third date to the movies. I got all ready to go and pick her up and she called saying sorry she overslept. and she feels bad about it and next weekend shell make i tup to me. I forgave her. But after that texts were kinda awkward. Well my friend had my phone later that day because me and her didnt hang out. was in the bathroom and he replied to her text saying were having gay buttsex im being the * * * * * . (My friend knew nothing about it) She took it very offensive. And didnt text back. Like 6 hours later she said she just wants to be friends.

 

Where we at now?: I apologized over 100x times. I told her how i knew it hurt her and my friend didnt know any better. i forced my friend to text her and apologize. she said its cool i just want to be friends with him though. but maybe me and him can have something in the future again. she avoids me at school now and we dont text. I asked her if the entire reason why she isnt talking to me and wants to be friends because of the text my friend sent. She said that honestly is the 100% reason why. I just want to be friends.

 

What I am doing?: Im giving her space. I didnt text her yesterday. Not gonna today either. I feel like she needs her space. And my friends and brother and his girlfriend say i should text her tomorrow. (even though on tuesday i texted her saying how sorry i was).

 

So should i text her tomorrow? If i do what time? What should I say? Is she overreacting? Should i give her space? Or am my chances with her completely gone? Please i cant stop thinking about her and the times we had together. Also im having trouble sleeping. No to sound dumbb.

[Tranquillo]

You can try talking to her at school. see how she is and then decide if you should text her or not.

[CasualDude10]

You can try talking to her at school. see how she is and then decide if you should text her or not.

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should i? i dont want her tp feel pressured

[Tranquillo]

I think a text would be more pressuring, so if you don't want to talk face to face than don't text as well but if you really want to text then first talk to her at school to see how she is with you. She's still your friend so you can still say hi to her at schol, thats no pressure.

[FlashEng1]

The very unfortunate truth man is that this ended before it began... Sadly your friend didn't mean to, but by joking the way he did, he ruined your chances with her. You liked each other, you were getting to know each other, but you were not actually together or officially talking/exclusive/etc.

 

^--- now all that is a big deal because you're going on as if you two were committed in a way that you must fight to prove something.. You can't. And no matter WHAT you do, it will only ruin it more for you. What may work best for you at this point is the step back, and go about your days. Unfortunately due to age/being in school, it's very hard to predict future events (MUCH more so than if you were out of school or in college, or what not). All you have at this point, is going back to being yourself and hoping for the best. But all in all, that struck a nerve, it was a sensitive area to begin with. Nothing at this point can be done or said that would have her go "OH! Okay!! Let's hangout again!" --- If that's the case... do NOT waste your time anymore! Be friends at a distance, and move on!

[CasualDude10]

seriously? just give up on her like that? shes upset and said we can be something in the future. i want her back haha.

[FlashEng1]

I'll elaborate.. The eNA forum pushes no contact, and moving on quite a bit if you go through other posts. One of the biggest reasons for this, is the same reason you're unable to see right now: Focusing on yourself.

 

To answer bluntly: Yes. Give up on her like that.

 

Not because you're an ass, or rude, or don't care about her or her feelings or any of that. But because you care about yourself more. Instead of spending your days finding out when to text someone, or posting asking advice on what you should do; understand I'm trying to help you change the core mentality that's going to damage you over time. You guys were never together as a couple to begin with. In order to give her what she deserves and what YOU deserve, why not do what you say and give her real space. Space that doesn't involve you wondering all day the perfect time of day to text her or call. The type of space that doesn't involve the advice of friends/family and what your next chess-move-based step should be! So yes, give up on her, if that's how you see it. Let her know if you haven't already (which you have, 100x!!) "Again, I'm very sorry for what happened, I will give you space. Call me when you're ready to talk." And turn around and move on!

 

"Upset" ...

If "upset" means "I just want to be friends with him for now."

If "upset" means her ignoring you at school..

If "upset" means you two don't text.

If "upset" means her telling you flat out the problem, and STILL saying "I just want to be friends."

then fine... she's upset.

 

She's not "upset" my friend, the spark has died for her... "for now."

and "maybe me and him can have something in the future again." -- She's not upset, this was her way out. Things were dying slowly for her prior to the text. The text just helped her decide faster. And unfortunately (THIS part does suck); there may be no reason in the world whatsoever that you did or said that caused the flame to die. Sometimes it just does. Sometimes it just happens like that.

 

But GOOD NEWS! You were never even *with* her, so by all means, smile, be thankful you didn't invest more time/effort/emotion into this and just move on.