Ex is not happy now

[guy40az]

I have a question that I would like some help with. My x left me for another man. They had been seeing each other for about 8 months before I found out about it. She then moved in with him about 5 weeks ago. Now they have broken up and I believe she wants me back now. She has ask me if im dating I told her I have been dating. She ask me if I was in a seriouse relationship with any one and I told her I was not. Anyone have any good suggestions on what I should do.

[ultimate_frisbe]

A relationship exists between two people.

 

And a good relationship is based on honesty and trust.

 

This woman cheated on you for eight months.

 

And lied to you everyday about that.

 

And you will never be able to trust her again.

 

That should tell you everything you need to know about this woman.

 

But every relationship is different.

 

And every person has to make their own choices about what would make them happy in life.

[viola]

hello guy40az!

i think if i wore u i would follow my heart, if u want to start it all over again,and u still have feelings for her,then why not, but if u dont, then be hanest with her show her that u r not intersted in going back to her. be honest to ur self, and follow ur heart..

good luck

[bamboo]

Do you want her back? If so I would just carry on with your life without making her the focus of it or she will never feel like she has lost anything. Be civil to her when she contacts you and let her initiate everything. She really has to prove herself to you if you are ever going to take her back. This will make me sound really harsh but I would wait until she is practically pleading because you really need to be sure that she wants you back for the right reasons and realises how close she came to losing you for good. You don't want to end up back on square one again.

 

To be honest with you though I kind of agree with ultimate frisbe. Will you really be able to trust her 100% and lead a healthy relationship with her again without resenting her? She didn't cheat on you as a one off, she was deceiving you for eight months. If someone did that to me and came crawling back I think I'd just laugh in their face. But you know her, yourself and your situation best and you'll make the right decision for yourself.

[JohnnyTable]

IMHO, forget it. Seeing somebody else for 8 months without you knowing about it? How long would it have gone if you didn't know about it? You will always be worried that it would be happening again, or that it is already happening and you just don't know about it.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Yeah, there are a thousand warning signs why you shouldn't go back to her.

 

-She wants you back now that things are going bad with him

-She was seeing him for 8 months

-She moved in with him 5 weeks ago and then broke up

 

This girl seems to have serious problems. I know it's hard to break an emotional attachment you have for someone, but do you really think that this girl would be GOOD FOR YOU?

[guy40az]

To answerer bamboos question in some ways I do want her back, we were together for 11 years. I really don't think I am going to be able to trust her ever again because I caught her cheating on me I actually videotaped them kissing each other 6 months ago and I didn't tell her I knew. She told me the week after I videotaped them that she was going to leave me (again she had no idea I had them on video) she didn't want a divorce she just wanted to separate. So I ask her if there was another man and she said no she just needed to be alone for a while. So I made it a point to ask her 3 or 4 times a week if there was any thing she needed to tell me about what was really going on and she said no. this went on for about 2 months. Well to make a long story short we got up one Saturday morning at 4 am and we talked for 4 hrs and I told her I knew she was seeing some one else and if she was willing to tell me about it and go to counseling we could try to work it out but she still said nothing. So I told her I was going to take my wedding ring off and once I took it off it will be over forever I waited about 15 min and then ask her again, but still she said noting. So I took my ring off. Then I told her I had her on video tape and my friend had seen them a few days before kissing while they were eating lunch. She then admitted to me that she had been seeing him and that's why she was leaving me.

 

To update you on the situation she came over about 2 hrs ago and ask me if she could move back in with me, that she wanted to know if I needed a room mate.

 

I tried to explain to her I was still in a lot of pain from what she had done to me and she just said she was in a lot of pain too. I then told her I didn't think it would be good for me to have her as a room mate.

[JohnnyTable]

It isn't even good to have her on your speed dial, let alone a roomate!

 

She decieved you. She lied to you until you revealed your proof. She will lie again.

 

However I understand your situation. My ex lied to me and part of me would still take her back. I try to snap out of this as much as possible and back to the "no way in h@ll" mode.

[daredevil]

What u did was good.. This womaan doesen't deserve you, dude iI really think what u did was great.. and whether or not u had a good relatonship this proves she really is a bad person.... I hop u get totally over her and life goes on... U will find a new one who deserve you as a person.... once a cheater always a cheater, and if she suddenly changes she has to prove it over a longer period... not just by wanting u back after cheating on you.... My advice is to never take her back and let her learn from her regrets and mistakes... she has to go through the same suffering u did... and especially the part about her not saying anything when u took off the wedding ring proves it all.. Such persons like her... they really are bad... so I hope u can deal with this matter and move on.... Good luck from me