How can people live in filth!?

[Katiebaby]

Hi guys. We are renting with friends, We live in the cottage, they live in the house and it's on a 20 acre property. The property is leased by them, we live in the cottage and pay them to live there which has been fine. If I see mess, I pick it up. If I see horse poo, I pick it up, if the hose is hanging accross the floor or walkway I wind and hang it up. If I see rubbish blowing accross the yard, I pick it up. If a fence is broken, I fix it... Can you see a patturn here?

 

I don't know how someone can live in such a broken down, messy place and let it go to * * * * * . Not to mention the state of their house. There is rubbish stacked up against the windows and quite frankly I'm embarrased to look at it. My house is no palace, I have my own crap laying around but it is not dirty, and it certanly doesn't smell!

 

My horses are always immaculately groomed, fed and up to date with their worming, getting their feet done etc and theirs are skinny and havent been touched in months. I have never said anything to them, have always just cleaned aroun them as far as the property is concerned, but it came to heads tonight when they cracked it at me for sweeping out the tack room. Am I being too anal? I have never touched or moved anyone elses stuff, just cleaned around it, and kept all my stuff neat and clean, and my areas, fences etc immaculate. I just think that if you're running a property where people pay to keep their animals, shouldn't the place be kept clean and safe? I like my areas clean and safe...

 

A bit annoyed, what should I do???!!

[GreenCupcake]

I can see how you're annoyed. I'd feel bad for the animals because they are the one's who have to stay in that kind of environment (it's not like the animals care, but it's the fact that the owners of the property don't care which means that the animals probably aren't getting the best treatment).

 

Have you said anything?

[journeynow]

A bit annoyed, what should I do???!!

 

Maybe offer to do some of the general upkeep in exchange for rent. They may have a different focus in life, find meaning in other things, or are too busy. In any event, it doesn't help the situation to judge them or feel put upon. They might enjoy a cleaner place if it came without judgement of their ways, and may then appreciate you more.

 

You could also keep your eye open for a different rental situation that is more in line with your style.

[Miss Firecracker]

Just chill out. It's their property. If you start telling them how to run it, they will just resent it. You won't change these people.

[Katiebaby]

They're not busy, they are enemployed and sit in their disgusting smelly house all day while my hubby and I have been upkeeping their property which they are profiting of as a result... We love the property and the rent is cheap as it's shared, but it is such a drag when people are dirty and don't care. I just don't know how people can live in filth. It's like the TV show "Hoarders" as if they LIKE being smelly and dirty and not working. That just doesn't make sense to me. I'm all for hard work, making a living and cleaning myself! Lol!

[SarahRose]

I'd say mind your own business before they get mad at you and boot you out.

 

I always wondered how the dole scheme works. How do people live on such tiny amounts when rent and housing is so high there.

[Katiebaby]

I think you're right as much as I hate to hear it! Taking a step back is definitely the right way to go, I was only trying to help because the place is falling down around us and I don't want people to think they're as careless and lazy as they are. I might just keep MY areas clean and help only when I'm asked for it... I have never said anything to anyone or piped up and had a whinge, I am just annoyed!

[Rosee]

I don't agree with minding your own business when there are animals in trouble, sounds like you're saying they are mistreating the animals by not feeding and caring for them properly?

[Ginger1]

I feel your sentiments 100%. The other weekend I was doing some work for these folks out in the country. Their place is a h.e.l.l hole and everytime I go there I become pissed off. They are just lazy slobs, you don't have to have money and a nice car and a nice house to be neat and tidy. And to boot, they have so many animals and they are all dirty. And their horses are living in the yard with metal scraps laying on the ground and old wire and a bunch of junk. It makes me so angry because the animals can't do anything and if they get hurt the owners aren't going to take care of them properly.

 

Having said that, yes I do sweep stuff under the rug or shove things in a closet once in a while..BUT I feel bad about it and always get around to cleaning it up. I take pride in my property- be it house, kitchen, yard, or animals.

[Maeva]

If the horses are in danger look after them or shop them(tell animal cruelty).

 

If you are a friend you probably can clean up the yards a little day until its all done. They possibly wont even notice if you do it at dawn. In case they are hoarders perhaps build a little corral and throw all the junk thats possibly useful in there.

 

Its likely the landlords will chuck you all out the first time they see the main house, I just hope they do pay the lease, so you may be able to get in there and clean for them. If it needs to be an exchange and they dont have money perhaps do it in exchange for poetry, art, them driving you to town every day.. But being worried about a landlord inspection is a good excuse. If you immaculately clean the house it will be bad again in a week. brace yourself. The good thing about repairs to yard and fences and caring for horses is the effects of those will likely last much longer. The horses cant defend themselves, you really have to help the animals some way.

 

If they are not on drugs or alcohol there are range of reasons why people get that way. Depression is one of them.

If it is due to drugs or alcohol you will need to be finding another place to live eventually so start looking now, you sound ideal to be a caretaker couple.

 

Heredity is very important to hoarding and there is no easy way out of it. Some people, myself included, just cant do it. So its big struggle and I spent ten years on flylady( an anti clutter system) to get to my currently abysmal standard. At least my home is the same as most peoples or a bit better than that now, tho I still have secret dreams of a show home.

I had to face that I want to hoard and not do it. Its soooo hard. I also employ cleaners. Its hard to face the cleaners and its harder to afford them but its much better than being in a mess. There is no miracle cure. I leave most cupboards and drawers empty because I cant know i will ever clean them out. I have to throw out perfectly good stuff every day. A lot of people in that situation just get overwhelmed, nothing works so they give up. Its really impossible for anyone outside of the situation to understand.

 

I hate drugs and dont abuse alcohol but I had friend so much worse than me I cleaned her house She stopped drinking and nice normal house.. Another friend her house was evil- dog poo even but she left her husband (she had battered wives syndrome)- presto immaculate house keeping.

I never started drinking or doing anything like that and no chap would ever hit me more than once, thats what police are for, but its just a big struggle -it is so unfair- its kind of obsessive compulsive in reverse.

So my house is just lovely, I can have people over any time so what am I belly aching about?

I just dont think everyone in my situation can get themselves out of it. Ten years learning to get a slightly better than average house.. not even a superior one, swallowing my pride and asking everyone for help, constant vigilance, it takes two days relaxing for my place to look a bomb hit it- even almost ten years after graduating- its just not an effort everyone can make.