college long distance relationship

[radiotone]

well im sure someone goes through this.

 

im going through one now, my gf of 1 year is attending college 4 hours away. she's really busy nowadays. she calls me for half an hour sometimes in the afternoon, if not - then we always talk at night at 9. but we only talk for another half an hour, so sometimes we only talk for half an hour all day. cause she has to get up early. and there's the weekends but im worried about something else.

 

im at home and im trying to get my college stuff ready for next year. i dont have a car nor a license, and i dont have a job. so im pretty much stuck with my thoughts unless i get a job. but im afraid once i get a job, we'll talk even less. and it's not even working out now during the week because since she's busy she "doesnt have time to be sad" so it doesnt really affect her. that we talk a lot less now. i brought this up with her today and she got defensive and told me i wasnt supporting her and that i'd understand if i was going to college or had a job.

 

but its not easy for me sometimes now even, because im just left with my thoughts and sometimes i get mad. and it ruins our conversations sometimes. i dont know. she's not a talkactive person. it's just so complicating. i dont know what to do

 

can someone help me?

[Beec]

An LDR is not going to be easy, but if you begin to concentrate with her about you needing more from her (or him), then you are going to sink it. Sometimes you need to let them go for a while, and see if they come back. The way to make them want to come back is to give to them what they need. She wants support, give it to her. She wants to poor out her frustrations on someone, lend your ear. She wants to feel important, ask her for advice. Give to her, and you make it much more likely she will want you.

 

When you need more, give and then withdraw. See if she comes looking for you.

[vickyx]

hi my boyfriend has gone to the navy and im left at home just thinking about him. when i ring him and ask him if he is missing me he says he dosnt have time to think about me that much because he is so busy also he use to ring, txt, e-mail and i saw him daily and then it all stop so now i only talk to him some evenings for about 30 mins... i really had a hard time with this all sorts of things were going through my head like he dosnt love me, whats he doing, who is he with but at the end of the day you get use to it and it just becomes apart of everyday life.its doing us some good because you become more independent and i have lernt to trust him so much more....

[Roffler]

I'm in a long distance of 5 hours. My family still lives in the same area as her, so it is practical for me to go up there every few weeks. My girlfriend attends college and I attend university (Canada has different system than the US) but I have 3 day weekends, so it works for us. Now we don't get to talk much either, as she has to be up early, and my days end late. We get through it by making the most of our phone time. We keep the conversations pleasant but deep, and bring up conflict only when face to face, as at that time, we have more time to get over things and figure things out. The system is working well so far.

[bogglebiggle]

maybe when the time comes for you to go to college (if you're planning on it) you could go up there with your girlfriend. You should definetly get a job. Don't sit around and wait for her, make something of yourself! Your probably a smart person, so get out there and be someone! While she's working and going to school, so will you. In the end it will all pay off. Good luck to you!