bananashake Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 And the other person claims to have no connection/love for you. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 It's extremely easy and the answers are almost infinite. Link to comment
bananashake Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 I know. But damn, if one person feels a connection with that person, it only makes sense to me that the other person would feel the same. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 This is just the way the human experience works. To find a love that is equal is rare, very rare outside of a parent/guardian/child relationship. When you find it, do whatever it takes to keep it because in the end what defines most people is the company they keep, not the amount of money they make or the kind of car they drive. I'd trade 50 Lamborghini's for an equal love in a heartbeat! It's unfair, it's also so very common. Link to comment
birdname Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 it's very common. one of the most awkward things that's happened to me in recent years was when a male friend of mine, who's company i enjoyed, and who i respected fell in love with me, but i had no feelings for him. I still enjoyed his company, and respected him as a person, but I had no romantic connection at all, even though he was totally head over heels for me. It ended up ruining the friendship because of how hurt he was that I didn't feel the same way about him. Link to comment
bananashake Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 This is just the way the human experience works. To find a love that is equal is rare, very rare outside of a parent/guardian/child relationship. When you find it, do whatever it takes to keep it because in the end what defines most people is the company they keep, not the amount of money they make or the kind of car they drive. I'd trade 50 Lamborghini's for an equal love in a heartbeat! It's unfair, it's also so very common. How do u know when you have equal love for each other? One of my best friends was engaged to a guy who appeared to be a 100 percent match for each other and he seemed equally head-over-heals for her as she was for him. And then one day he told her that he loves her, but then again, he doesn't love her. That she is more like an object to him. Shocked all of us. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 How do u know when you have equal love for each other? One of my best friends was engaged to a guy who appeared to be a 100 percent match for each other and he seemed equally head-over-heals for her as she was for him. And then one day he told her that he loves her, but then again, he doesn't love her. That she is more like an object to him. Shocked all of us. Then he was never truly in love with her to begin with. We can experience "love" for many people/things at the same time. One that lasts takes a commitment that most people cannot fathom in the "throw it away" world we live in now. I'm usually more shocked when I find out people are blissfully in love for 20+ years than I am of the situation you described, I expect to hear that more often than not. Link to comment
luminousone Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I think sometimes that we are more in love with the image we have of that person in our mind. Also, I believe that all of our interpretations of our experiences are colored by what we have experienced in life already. So two people that saw the same exact thing will come away with different impressions due to their own perspectives. But - it has been a recurring issue throughout history and time. Just look at all of the books, movies, songs, poems, paintings that are all about unrequited love! Link to comment
luminousone Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Then he was never truly in love with her to begin with. We can experience "love" for many people/things at the same time. One that lasts takes a commitment that most people cannot fathom in the "throw it away" world we live in now. I'm usually more shocked when I find out people are blissfully in love for 20+ years than I am of the situation you described, I expect to hear that more often than not. I also believe that we have waves of love and sometimes in a relationship we may fall out of love for a bit - but the commitment holds us together. Hopefully both partners won't fall out of love at the same time, because I think that the relationship can be renewed if you hang in there (except in extreme cases). Link to comment
Rosee Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 It's so common it has a name.. 'unrequited love' Link to comment
theface71 Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 People get bored easily and when they get bored they look for change and usually one way to change life is by simply changing partners to try and reclaim the excitement again of life. It indeed is a throw away world. As I have said in other posts people treat people like disposable objects and do not take the time to reach the next step of a mature and committed loving relationship. On the other hand I am wrapping my head around the concept of how attachment leads us to suffering so the key is not to become too attached to anything since change and loss is inevitable. Once we have no fear of real attachment then we never really lose nor do we really suffer. We just simply gain new insight into this thing called life. Just a thought. Link to comment
Jacksonsmith Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 It certainly doesn't make you feel good that is for sure. My ex never said she didn't love me anymore thankfully but it didn't take a genius to figure out she didn't love me anymore. She certainly moved on with her new boyfriend very quickly and it makes me wonder how can you love someone one minute and be together for a year and suddenly move on to the next guy. Ouch...... Link to comment
Heartonasleave Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I think sometimes that we are more in love with the image we have of that person in our mind. Also, I believe that all of our interpretations of our experiences are colored by what we have experienced in life already. So two people that saw the same exact thing will come away with different impressions due to their own perspectives. I have past the 7 months stage...and i now totally see this...well done for putting this into words..Zorba said "look at them, really look at them! Link to comment
Heartonasleave Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 People get bored easily and when they get bored they look for change and usually one way to change life is by simply changing partners to try and reclaim the excitement again of life. It indeed is a throw away world. As I have said in other posts people treat people like disposable objects and do not take the time to reach the next step of a mature and committed loving relationship. On the other hand I am wrapping my head around the concept of how attachment leads us to suffering so the key is not to become too attached to anything since change and loss is inevitable. Once we have no fear of real attachment then we never really lose nor do we really suffer. We just simply gain new insight into this thing called life. Just a thought. This is also how it is..they do throw it away/attachment leads to suffering...but when your in love its hard not to become too attached. In fact, not becoming too attached does not occur. Yes, we may have some lingering doubts but they slowly fade with time. Link to comment
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