Communicating with ex during illness...good idea or bad idea?

[lyndsaylynn]

I am curious to know from other ENA'ers...Has anything positive ever come out of communicating to a Dumper about a Dumpee's illness?

I am a Dumpee and going through a medical situation. I haven't told my ex yet and don't plan to. I have read quite a few stories on here about Dumpee's letting their ex know about an illness and it turns out badly, which is why I don't want to do it. That would hurt terribly.

If anyone has any positive stories to share though, I would be interested to hear them. Thank you.

[bellepepper]

I mean it depends on what you think will happen if you tell them? If you have an expectation that it will make them come back in your life, you might be setting yourself up for getting hurt.

[replytome]

There was a guy on Loveshack, who had a heart attack and almost died. His ex knew about it but seemingly didn't care. She didn't contact him at all...

[lyndsaylynn]

Thanks for the responses. My ex did reach out to me recently in an email asking me how I am doing, but I don't expect him to want to be back in my life even if I do tell him. I think I would be more hurt if he responded to the news with indifference and that's why I am not telling him.

 

Boreed, that is such a sad story about the person from Loveshack. He must have been devastated.

[lanaa]

what will you get by telling him? do you tell it to a random person you just know? he is not your partner,and he is not your friend

[camus154]

Personally, I say no. It's none of your ex's business anymore and all this does is presume some kind of emotional connection/support line between the two of you that, realistically, you no longer share. It's also rather unfair to the ex depending on the severity of the medical condition as it starts tapping into feelings of pity and possibly even guilt.

 

I hope you're ok, though.

[lyndsaylynn]

Thank you Camus and Lanaa. Wise words and so true.

[IRefuseToSink]

I tried once, and it just made me look dependent on him and pathetic. I think the best thing you can do is take care of yourself, and don't make it seem like you need him. Because you don't.