Telling a girl my LACK of EXPERIENCE...

[Mercurial Girl]

She's not interested in you. I would sooner ask her if she has any friends who she thinks might make a good match with you. JUST NOT HER.

[shotinthedark]

Man, I've replied to so many of your threads offering my advice, but I think it just falls on deaf ears. Either way, I'll retort for someone else who may be reading this in a similar situation.

 

So you two make a 'date' to go see a movie, and you meet her and she's hanging out with TWO dudes? Seriously? If I was going on a date with a girl, that'd pretty much tell me everything I needed to know right there. If she was interested in you, every other guy in that place would be nonexistent.

 

And then on you're departure, she's making connections with random guys RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU. You've really got to grow some self esteem, because that'd be it for me. She is NOT interested in any relationship type with you.... period. If you're fine with being friends and hanging out, then by all means. But I think you're in too deep already, thinking about her and making multiple posts on the internet about her. She's got you hook, line and sinker, and you're just a time-filler for her. She may think you're a great guy, but that's as far as it goes.

 

Lastly but most importantly... why in the hell would you want to highlight all your shortcomings to a girl you like? I'm not saying be dishonest, but you want to put your BEST foot forward. Everyone has their own skeletons in the closet, but blabbing about them to a girl you're not even remotely serious with is a huge mistake.

 

Unfortunately, I'm almost certain the next time she wants to hang out you'll stumble along behind her like a desperate puppy seeking attention. So you're only move left is to kiss her the next time you hang out. I think I already know the outcome, but a cold hard slab of reality is what you need with this girl. She's a complete waste of your time if you're interested in her, and telling her you've never even kissed a girl before isn't going to help your cause, comprende?

[blueidealist24]

I think she's only interested in being friends. Honestly. Like everyone else said. Although some of them were too harsh. I know what it's like to not get that much attention from guys and then have some guy pay a lot of attention. It's like wow, I NEED THIS and I WON'T GIVE UP. I used to be like that and I'd read too much into everything.

[Slimpee]

I think she's only interested in being friends. Honestly. Like everyone else said. Although some of them were too harsh. I know what it's like to not get that much attention from guys and then have some guy pay a lot of attention. It's like wow, I NEED THIS and I WON'T GIVE UP. I used to be like that and I'd read too much into everything.

 

How did you break that habit?

[Alezia]

I've replied to your PM, but I will also reply here.

 

I would stop making any "rules" with her. She definitely only sees you as a friend if she was trying to hook up with guys before your meet. You do not operate under any type of rule with friends - that's the whole beauty of friends. There is no planning, no scheming, no reflection required. When you can both make some time to see each other, you make the best out of it. If you do insist on having one rule, it would just be to put in as much as you get out of it. That means you can propose activities, as long as she does. You don't start paying, if she doesn't etc... Communicate whatever is on your mind in terms of fairness and equality - don't just have magical "rules" which you won't respond to certain actions unless cause X or Y is met.

 

I wouldn't really say that the issue here is her in any fashion. It's just that YOU are not letting yourself look beyond her. You are limiting your possibilities to meet new people because you focus so much on her. I think that until you accept this, and put a concrete action plan towards meeting new people, you won't break that barrier. Sometimes, it may be easier if you have feelings for her to cut her out of your life. If you have the maturity and dedication, you may be able to keep her as a friend but still move on. Once you meet someone that piques your interest, she will slowly fade out of the picture as romantic interest - no worries. If you were both meant as friends, you will most likely stay friends at that point in time.

 

Girls can classify you within 5 minutes of meeting. You'll either be a creeper, friend-only, or 'could be more'. You have all the control in the world not to land in option A. I don't think I need to explain what this category is. The second category is for people for which the person is nice, but I feel no chemistry, or we are really not compatible in terms of lifestyle or interests. Usually guys who are very serious and will talk to me about their paintball weekend and new paintball gun will fall into this one. If when I meet you, we are passionate on the same subjects and there is chemistry going, laughing, then you'll land in the last category - which is where you want to be. That doesn't mean I necessarily want to be gf-bf with you, but I am open to see if it's a fling, there is potential, or perhaps just badly typed you at the start and you should have been in the friends category.

[blueidealist24]

How did you break that habit?

 

When I got used to getting more attention from men it stopped a bit. Online dating really helped me because I get more attention and I realized men can be a dime a dozen and you don't have to chase the one that pays attention to you as if they're a huge prize and they're the only one you're going to get. See, I did get attention in real life SOMETIMES, but much LESS than online, so whenever a man paid attention to me in real life they seemed really special. Now, if one isn't interested or ignores me or whatever, I'll just think to myself that I can talk to another one online. It's sort of a weird way of thinking but it helps me from turning into a stalker, bahahah.