sweetserenity Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 my boyfriend of about 1.5 years and i broke up two weeks ago. i know it's mainly my fault because i was pushing him away for a long time. i have a lot of family problems, but i don't like talking about them so i just bottled them up and it created a big distance between me and my boyfriend. right before we broke up we took a week break and i missed him a lot, but after the break ended i didn't tell him so because i didn't want to seem desperate or dependent. then two days after he broke up with me. i asked him for a second chance, but he said that it's not the right time and that he had been thinking for a while that we should break up. so he's on his way to getting over me (since he thought about it for so long) and i'm no where in getting over him (i have a hard time sleeping, can't stop thinking about him, can't eat). he has a lot of girls that like him so i feel like he's going to get over me even sooner. i really love him and i really loved being with him and i really want to be with him again. is it possible to get him back? another problem is that we're going off to college in a few months...so he might not want to be with me again if he doesn't want to do long distance. but i'm holding onto the hope that maybe if we go to the same college (we don't know where we'll be accepted into yet!) he'll want to be with me again? but by the time acceptance letters come, i won't have the right to ask him if we can go to the same college since i won't be his girlfriend anymore... Link to comment
camus154 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 So you broke up before both of you are heading off to college, which could potentially be different colleges. Your chances of getting back together are slim to none. Emphasis on none. But don't lose hope. You have a lot of experiences ahead of you. Enjoy them. Link to comment
blackdog85 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Honestly the best thing you can do is let him go and focus on yourself. You are really young. You should be thinking about you and what's best for you. It would be a big mistake (in more ways than one) to try and follow this guy to his college. Do what's right for you and for your life. Meaningful relationships can happen between young people, but you have a lot of living to do. College is a phenomenal time. You may not believe it right now but its also a great time to be single. Be open to the fact that this could be good for both him and you. The worst thing that could happen right now is that you make a decision based on the way you feel now and regret it later because you weren't putting yourself first. Let him go - there's no plan or scheme that can convince someone to stay once they've made up their mind to go. He's got to come around on his own, but seriously you should take this opportunity to really do what's right for your future and not worry about this relationship. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 He's probably realised that starting college is a whole new experience for you both, and one that he wants to go into as a single person. Not what you want to hear I know, but it's an unfortunate truth. If he had wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have broken up with you. Start working on yourself, start healing and learning to live without him in your life. I don't know what your family problems are but if they are not resolved, talk to someone about it (family/friends etc) Just speaking about things sometimes can lessen the load more than you realise. You've got many new and exciting things about to happen with starting college etc. You are probably going to meet a whole load of different people. Start to get yourself in the right frame of mind so you will be able to enjoy them to their full Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I think the most important things you can learn from this are that you need to communicate openly and honestly with your SO without holding back. Had you done that about your family, you wouldn't have created the distance leading to the break and then had you communicated honestly to him that you missed him, he may not have decided to break up. Link to comment
sweetserenity Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 yeah, I probably don't have much chance...I'll just have to accept it and move on...it's just proving to be hard right now. we had actually wanted to go to a lot of the same colleges...but i guess I'll just see where life takes me and use what I learned (to always cherish the ones I love!) for the future. thank you guys (: Link to comment
Scuza Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 High school relationships rarely last into college / university / post-secondary education. My situation earlier this year was similar to yours, only my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a week into going to the same university. It would be best to assume the relationship is over, and will not resume. Distance yourself and heal / recover. Doing anything involving him right now would not be in your best interest, as you are still reeling from the breakup. Learn from the mistakes you made, and take time to work on improving yourself. Not for him, but for yourself. There are rare occasions where people find the person for them in high school. My aunt and uncle are high school sweethearts! But these are the exception, rather than the rule. Link to comment
Doofus Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 I agree with others. Your short-term prospects are not good. However, there are many many examples of h.s. sweethearts breaking up and then reconnecting some years later and staying together for good. Enjoy college; you are going to be surrounded for four years by many many interesting attractive men. If you didn't date some of them and stayed with your current boyfriend, you would always wonder, perhaps bitterly, what you missed. The chances of a marriage of high school sweethearts lasting a lifetime these days is about the same as winning the power ball. The reason is that humans -especially young humans - crave variety. Often, though, once people satisfy that craving, they realize that what's really important to them. If, after you graduate, you think 'gosh, that hs guy really was the man for me' look him up. But let him go for now. You and he will stand a better chance of being happy later if you do. Link to comment
sweetserenity Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 I understand that we don't have much chance. I guess what's really bothering me now is that it's hard to keep him from my mind and allow myself to start to heal. Thank you guys for your encouragement Link to comment
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