My Story

[CuriousAboutIT]

Long relationship dating back to high school. All together almost 7 years. We broke up Summer 2010 for 2 months and when we got back together it was unbelievable. Everything went so well for about 5 months, when I received a job offer in our home town. We both wanted to relocate back home, but she was tied into a lease. We decided I would move and she would follow a few months later. We were only a few hours away, so it was no biggie.

 

She moved home, and the relationship was going well. I work long days, typically 12 hours, and we were both living at home with our parents. We were losing our alone time, if you will. She pushed me to move out, and I some what was hesitant and wanted to continue saving money until we felt it was right for us to both move out together into a place. She didn't want to move in yet b/c her job was not paying much, she couldn't afford it.

 

In October, we started arguing. She wanted some things differently, and we continued to argue and I wanted to walk away b/c I would agree to these small things, act on them, and she would still be mad.

 

Well, in November she cut it off. Said I was just not committed enough and did not prioritize her and I just put my social scene and work ahead of her. For a while I was begging for her back, we hung out a few times, and she said I just wasn't myself. I think I was just trying too hard and came off desperate. She reached out to me x-mas morning to say merry xmas, and yesterday I again told her how much she means to me and that all I want is to be with her. She basically said she's just not ready and that I should either wait for her, or just move on. She still has feelings, but says now if I change she feels like she forced it and finds that unattractive. She has hinted that she doesn't like how I am so 'available' that she would almost want me to say 'f you' and go on a date, she would find attractive.

 

What do you guys think? I want her so badly. We had such a great relationship and now it just eats me up. I think about it way too much and it just drives me crazy.

[Tom1990]

I don't blame you for thinking about it so much. After 7 years stretching back into adolescence, it's probably weighing on her mind a lot, too. And she's being honest, even meta-honest about it all (saying don't try to force change, it would be unattractive, and so on). Obviously you guys were in a stressful situation, and didn't have the skills and/or emotional state to properly deal with it. I'd say give it some time, focus on yourself, let her focus on herself. You guys broke up for two months, then got back together for over a year. If there's something there, then a little more time off won't kill the relationship.

[CuriousAboutIT]

I don't blame you for thinking about it so much. After 7 years stretching back into adolescence, it's probably weighing on her mind a lot, too. And she's being honest, even meta-honest about it all (saying don't try to force change, it would be unattractive, and so on). Obviously you guys were in a stressful situation, and didn't have the skills and/or emotional state to properly deal with it. I'd say give it some time, focus on yourself, let her focus on herself. You guys broke up for two months, then got back together for over a year. If there's something there, then a little more time off won't kill the relationship.

 

Thanks for the response.

 

Last night she called me several times after she had been drinking, asking me to come visit her on her family vacation. Not sure what she'll say today, but I am optimistic that she meant it. She kept calling me 'babe' and saying things like "I wish you were here", but then again it might of been the booze speaking up. Lets hope not...