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I come off so robotic in my messages. Any tips?


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I'm somewhat new to online dating. One thing I have noticed is that I tend to come off very robotic in my messages. Now I have a GREAT sense of humor and personality, many people have told me I do and that I should be a comedian, but going through the messages I have sent out, or conversations I have had, I come off like the most dullest person ever.



I'm trying to get to know the girl, so I'm asking questions and such but that's all I do.



Here's a couple of examples



1)Oh I love science fiction books myself. The author “” “” is one of my favorites



Do you have any specific movies you enjoy watching?



2)Yes, comedies are my favortie but I really don't mind any type



I see you have a wide range of music taste, do you ever attend concerts?



To me I'm not just translating my personality in these messages. I understand it's somewhat hard to do that online and it's better to meet someone face to face and gauge the chemistry, but are you really going to want to meet someone that just comes off boring and lifeless?



So could I have some hints on how to come off more engaging and how to get to know the girl without just asking a bunch of questions?



Maybe a message YOU would send so I would have an idea on what I'm doing wrong and how I could improve my messages?





I mean part of me almost wants to put in a message “Sorry if I'm coming off dull, my personality just doesn't come off in these messages.”

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You'll never be able to convey much personality in text messages alone. Only once you have real life conversations can the other person "interpret" your words as though you were saying them and pick up on your subtle personality queues.


To come off less "dull", first, don't apologize for it. When stating you like X, Y and Z, go into more detail about WHY you like them. Offer your opinions and invite further discussion on interests you may share in common. You will have to convert your feelings into words which is harder for some than others, but I definitely notice when the other person makes an attempt at it and respond in kind.

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Don't be discouraged by online dating. It really is a woman's game accross the board. If the site is a free site, there are A LOT more men than women on there, which means your messages need to be highly original and entertaining to capture attention. Your profile needs to be these things as well. If that's a game you don't really want to play, then you may be better off just approaching girls in person.


I still keep a profile up on the online site, and I've had some luck before, but less it seems recently. It's a real turn off when you feel like you have to be "ON" all the time to keep a girl's attention. If you want to keep at it, open with something original and funny. Then follow with a blend of serious and funny when she responds. And most importantly, try not to get discouraged. It's not an even playing field at all.

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I joke around, i would have said


Oh, comedies and sci-fi.. do i see smores and mystery science theater 3000 in our future?


This is hit or miss, but so is asking just regular questions. Thing is i would rather want to be interested in someone who can play along. If she comes out all high and mighty, and doesnt engage me, and doesnt ask questions in return, then i could do the same to her, "delete, next message".

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