Telling me how to live my life

[Nightingale93]

I'm very close to both sides of my family. My mom and I live together. I don't have a relationship with my dad because he's Schizophrenic. During my high school life I suffered from depression issues that still continue now. My mom used to bring guys around all the time growing up and when I was a teenager it was worse. She was leaving me home alone all the time and bringing over guys half the time when she was home. This is something that hurt me a lot because I felt like I couldn't be a teenager due to her acting like one. She refused to take me to friends' houses or pick me up. She's never been the type of mom to, well, be a mom.

 

In recent issues I just graduated high school. I don't have my license and just recently got a job at a restaurant that my uncle owns. So I'm with family all the time it seems. If it weren't for that place though I wouldn't have any place to work due to my lack of being able to drive. I knew as soon as I turned 18 my mom would pull the "you're an adult now so figure it out yourself" crap. I feel so unprepared for adulthood. She practically refuses to take me driving and now came up with this whole "you should pay to go to driving school" thing. It's so frustrating to me that she just pushes me to the side. She's always over at her boyfriend's house, never take me to work, and just doesn't seem to care about my feelings even after approaching her about how it hurts my feelings that she's never home. My grandparents are helping me drive now.

 

To top it off, my whole family has been frustrating and hurtful to me. I hang out with some of my cousins on Saturday nights and lately they've criticized me about my boyfriend constantly. My aunt also made a rude comment to me about how I should be saving my Christmas money for a car and that made me so angry. I've saved pretty much every bit of my money I've worked for for a car and I have quite a bit saved up. I NEVER buy anything for myself. Then my mom also makes this comment today about how I need to be saving up for a car rather than buying video games. I've bought literally 1 game for my Wii in the past year and who is she to tell me how to live my life? She can't manage her money worth crap.

 

I WANT to go to college but have no way of getting there and she screwed up my financial aid form. I don't even know where to start when it comes to college. Nor do I know what I want to do. I wanted to do Journalism but feel like I shouldn't due to it not being a good field right now. Recently I was thinking about getting an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop to become a professional piercer. I haven't told my family about that but it is something I am passionate about.

 

I feel like I resent my mom and my family so much right now. I've been depressed and just feel like I'm a loser. I don't know how to tell my family to kindly "F off" and let me decide what I want to do with my life. I understand there is a thing called constructive criticism but they aren't doing that. They are just attacking, calling names, and being rude. I'm sick of the pressure. Help?! *

[DaisyJane]

Could you move out? Or is it too much of a money issue? My advice would be to continue as you are, working and saving. Then get driving lessons and a car with the money, and then you will be free! Could you work another job close by as well? Or get more hours?

 

As for uni can you redo a financial aid form? I would be careful about committing to an apprenticeship at a tattoo place unless you're sure that's what you want to do. It's always nice to have a uni degree to fall back on if things go haywire.

 

I know it's hard, but I think you just have to put up with/ignore your mum until you can fly the coop. Spend lots of time with friends and boyfriend Do things for yourself that will make you feel better and raise your self esteem, because it seems like it takes a bashing when you're around family.

[Nightingale93]

I was working 6 days out of the week and making over 200 dollars a week but only work 4 now, which I'm not too happy about since I have no night shifts which equals little tips. But, I've also got almost 2 grand saved up. I put all of my money back pretty much. Moving out isn't an option, and I've been practicing driving so I can get my license, a second job, and go to college. The tattoo shop thing was something I want to do for now while going to school and figuring out what I want to do with my life. Working in food is not ideal to me, and I think becoming a piercer is something I would totally enjoy doing. Piercings are my thing. I have a cousin who works two jobs and goes to college so I feel like everyone expects my boyfriend and I to do that also