Help PLEASE! Are we going to fast? How can I make this last!

[elysium_dreams_]

I wish to accomplish two things with this thread. Let's see if I can get it all out understandably.

 

First, all of you will know the imortance in a relationship to take it slow.

What thoughts do you have on that.

 

Two weeks ago I started to date this girl and everything has been going amazing. In our minds we have both got this incredible urge to just throw ourselves forward and into things that are waayyy too sooon in a two-week relationship. We're talkin full-bore sexual stuff. She seems to be more so than me, but it's gritting out teeth because we really want to take this slow.

 

We wanna take it slow because we really really don't want to screw this up and we're both saying we've found such great people and want us only to grow better and better.

 

Here's the first interesting thing. I barely even know how it happened, but we ended up talking on the phone last night...and by about 6am it was phone sex. So I wake up goin....what the heck am i going to make of that. I know that it's made it far far more likely that we're going to go farther if we are alone together. In fact, this Sunday we've got the house to ourselves. Though we've already roped off sex, she's declared that andthing with our hands is fair game for her.

 

I don't know what I'm gonna do. I want her in every bleeping way but I sooo think this is too soon. I guess we figured that reliving ourselves on the phone - which I never thought I'd do. But I have no idea if i should just let it flow or talk to her about pacing ourselves a little more. efficiently. I'm not feeling totally comfortable with it because of the SECOND thing I want to get out of this email.

 

In any strong relationship there are a number of things being balanced. Emotional and physical desires, intellectual connection, etc etc. We, as I've mentioned above, we've got all the physical desire there. But everything in life goes through cycles. so there will be a time where that won't be the first thing on our minds. and i want to know how to keep everything else going strong. I'm sure I'm doing everythign fine automatically but I want to be able to focus on everything ELSE in our relationship. we have great great conversations at Starbucks sitting for a cup of tea. but it's going to get old and lose it's special touch if I can't change it up.

 

I think this is just me raelly not wanting to bleep it up but you're the ones who gotta answer that! haha, that's why I'm here!!

 

I need help please!

Thanks for any help!

[LEYboy]

I know what you mean by going slow and its most likly the best thing to make your relationship last, and if she seems to push sexual activities and you don't want to then you got to tell her whats up. truly more important than going slow you should comunicate.. not just talking alot but really got out what you think, becace its deffinatly important so she dosen't get the wrong idea. good luck.

 

-lew.

[OceanEyes]

I just don't see what the big deal is. You're both consentual adults who want to have sex. Why wait? You have the rest of your life (especially your post-senior and senior citizen years) to be abstinent.

 

You both seem to like each other and are obviously both very interested in sex, so why dissect it with rules like, "we should be taking it slow"?

 

In my opinion, you've already taken your relationship a step further intimately by engaging in phone sex, which can actually be considered more intimate than physical sex because it's 100% mental and emotional.

 

This may just be my opinion, but I think if two mature adults want to have sex and are both cool about it, why wait? The only reason I can see someone waiting is if they have a tendency to mix up love and sex. Some people get love and sex mixed up and have a tough time deciding which one is more important to them in the long run.

 

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You guys are both dying to get it on, and believe me, you won't be sorry when it happens.

[elysium_dreams_]

i don't want the relationship to get overrun with it and then lose all that we had before that was ever a part of us. before we even were physically connected in any way we were tied to each other. and i don't wanna lose that. that's what made us like each other. i don't want her to get tired of me because we lost touch with that.

 

and i really don't wanna just have sex. it has to be love - but that's not happening in a few months so you pace yourself right.