I think I'm having trouble forgiving my mom.

[wai]

My mom is the second wife of my dad. He had kids with his first wife. One of them lives with my family. He came to live with us when he was about 17. My mom used to hate him a lot but later she got used to the whole thing. When I turned 18, my mom and my dad stopped talking to each other. They still live under the same roof but they just don't talk nor sleep together. I feel like my mom was extremely close to my half brother. They always travel together. My half brother taught her how to ride a bike ect... I always had a feeling that they were having an affair. I told my mom about it and she was very defensive about it. It all happened when I was around 17, 18. I used to cry everyday because I hated the whole thing so much. I couldn't tell my dad about it because I didn't want to hurt his feeling. My sister knows, one of my aunts knows that my mother and I was fighting a lot because of that. I moved to another city after I turn 17 because I couldn't live with this whole thing. The fighting between mom and I keep going on until I was 21. One day, me, my mom, my half brother and my sis were travelling in a car. They were too close and I could see her emotion in her eyes. My half brother was driving, so I asked him to stop the car, eventually tell him I know what's going on. My sister agreed with me. My sister and I left them in a car, walked away. ect... Long story short, they came after us and took us to a hotel because we were still kids and I got no money on me except cell phone.

 

I think all those things. I think I never got over it. My half brother still lives with my family. Both me and my sister live in different countries now. I always get mad when it comes to my mom. I yell and shout at her. I feel really guilty afterward. I still don't know if they really had an affair or not. I still don't. sometime I still see my mother with my half brother in my dreams.

[LaKings55]

I don't fully understand what happened, but I'd just be happy to be out of that situation. Forgiveness, while a pleasant thing, isn't always necessary. Do we call up our ex's to forgive them and ask for the same? No, we don't. We just let go of the anger, which is what I would recommend here. Just let it go

[agent1607307371]

I wonder if she was having an affair with him, or you feel that he is taking space that belongs to you and your sister and rationalise that into her having an affair with him?

[wai]

It could be true that I was jealous. But she shows so much affection towards him. When I confronted about that to my half brother. Why didn't they said it's not true? I'm not the only one who felt that way. My sister feels the same too. Sometime my aunt doubt that they are but she didn't want to get involved so she stayed quiet. My mother has helped my half brother's gf to get abortion and kept it a secret from my dad. Why? I mean why would she help him?

[agent1607307371]

Why wouldn't she help him?