I have serious issues, please help me!

[kauaiangirl83]

my bf and i are in a LDR and soon I am moving into his apt. If you have followed my posts, you know that I've been going through a lot these past few weeks. I got into a fight with my grandma today because she was verbally abusive and i told her to stop, I hate my mom's bf, and my bf and I were in a tough spot.

 

My bf and i resolved our issues and we were doing good. We were happy for awhile and I thought that things were definitely looking up for us. I bought my tickets to move to be with him and everything. Today started out really good. But then, after getting into a fight with my mom about whether or not I should go to san franciso, everything got turned upside down. I called my bf to tell him that I loved him right after the fight because I was upset. He said that he needed to go and that he'll call me back later. Later I found out that he had told me he needed to go because he was reading a book and I was seriously irked by that. When he did call me back later, i was super annoyed at the whole world. Does anyone else get like this? When he asked me what was wrong, i said nothing. (is that a lie?) but then everything came out about what was wrong. He said that I lied to him and basically now everything is a huge mess.

 

On top of that, my best friend is having issues with her land lord so i was trying to keep it together so I could help her out, but I don't think i did too good of a job.

 

My bf called me several hours later and really gave it to me. He said that I have a serious problem with lying. I don't think that I do. I mean, everyone lies once in awhile, but i would never lie to him to hurt him. I'm supposed to give my 2 weeks at work tomorrow, but i'm not sure anymore. My bf also said that he can't marry a liar but he's not gonna leave me and he is going to give me another chance.

 

I'm feeling like he's just keeping count of every single time i lied to him. I know that i've hurt him in the past many many times. I even kissed another guy and didn't come clean and one of my "friends" ratted me out. My bf tells me that everytime I lie, even if it's the littlelest lie ever like nothing's wrong when there really is something wrong, it's still a lie and that triggers memories to when i first lied about kissing the other guy. Does this make sense to anyone? I told him that he needs to work though his issues with that because it's not relavent to this issue, but he said that it is his issue. He can totally trust me when we're happy, but when he finds out that i lied, he has absolutely no trust and i have to start from ground zero. I know that i should pay for my consequences, but isnt' there a time when he should somehow be able to seriously forgive me? I don't rub his mistakes in his face at all. I try to just resolve them and move on, but that's not what he does.

 

What should I do? I really need insight and advice. If you read this far please drop me a note. Thanks a lot....

[Just A Teen]

Okay,

you got yourself a tricky situation..... With your relatives and family theres not much you can do besides cutting off the amount of contact. With your boyfriend. Okay you cheated on him and you lied about it, i can say that yea thats something to say you were a liar. But, saying " nothings wrong " is not a really lie to count. Everyone does it an infact 90% of the time when someone says nothings wrong there actually is so. Its just natural for someone you know so he should not be counting these against you. Well ive always felt that once some cheats on you that your relationship can't get very good because that will always come back in theyre mind.... But, he seems to be needing an excuse to get rid of you of some sort? I think you both serously need to sit down face to face and start talking about your issues... And mention that you dont rub his mistakes in his face...

[MrsHughes]

Hi, I'm Kiesha. I know what it's like to have rough days. I've had those for over year now. (Just about everyday).

 

But, since your grandma is verbally abusive, you did what is right by standing up to her. And everyone gets into fights with their moms. (Moms' tend to think they know everything, and forget that their children DO make good choices.)

 

With your boyfriend, he does need to let go. I know that he is still hurting over what happened in the past, but if he wants to move forward with you in this relationship, he needs to tell you how it can get better. Also, he needs to understand that saying "Nothing" when somethings wrong, is incentive for him to go through the past 24 hours with you in his mind and figure out what he did wrong. Or, ask you "What's really wrong?" and when he asks you, he cares, and he really wants to hear your response.

 

If your not sure you want to move to where he is yet, then take your time. You have all the time in the world. Try not to let anyone pressure you to do something you're not ready to do, or something you don't want to do. He might have a hard time understanding though.

 

I look forward to your reply.

 

Kiesha Hughes

[kauaiangirl83]

I know that it irked him a lot when i said that nothing is wrong because he would like me to just be straight-forward with him and i understand that. I tried telling him that he needs to let go of the past and really give me a chance, but he says that he can forgive me, but just not forget.

 

I still don't know what to do. He called this morning, but i didn't answer my phone. I'm questioning whether or not I should give my 2 weeks at work. I want to be with him and i know that it can work out, but we really need to sit down and talk about stuff, but i don't know if he's gonna go for that: guys hate it when we say, "We need to talk" so yah.

 

Hopefully he'll be nicer to me today, but seriously i don't know where this relationship is going. I'm willing to leave my friends and family and move 3000 miles away, but i'm not willing to go somewhere that i'm not safe and somewhere that i'll worry about whether or not this is going to work...

 

 

thanks for your replies, any more questions, comments or ideas would be super helpful.