mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Today I need to vent and I need your advice badly because yesterday I got some news of my ex... But before maybe it's the best that I summarise my situation: - She went abroad for study and dumped me just after it (it was 5 months ago) - We went no contact directly because she wanted it, so I didn't contacted her since the "talk" - We were together for 2 years madly in love and we had plans of marriage... She even chose her ring... So I was suffering since our break up talk... But yesterday I got news of her. I know now something that I prefer not to know... I learned that she dumped me because she wanted a life full of expensive restaurants and stuff and she thought that she will be unhappy with me because I have no enough money... She's partying now and she tries to find a rich boyfriend... I think she tries to level up... She found someone and he broke up with her because it turned out that he was married... How could she do that? How I was so stupid to believe in love and to make wedding plans with her? I thought we were connected and we were meant for each other... Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 you also start enjoying..it will be a sweet revenge.... Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Lord Voldemort, I understand why you said that, but I don't want any revenge... It's a sad moment for me because I just lost my belief in love... If she can be like that so everyone can be... Because she was so beautiful, innocent and lovely... How did she changed like that? Or I am the stupid in this story... Am I the naive one? I think yes... I was too naive to believe in love and to love someone so deeply... I will never trust to love again... Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 So I was suffering since our break up talk... But yesterday I got news of her. I know now something that I prefer not to know... I learned that she dumped me because she wanted a life full of expensive restaurants and stuff and she thought that she will be unhappy with me because I have no enough money... Yeah, sometimes people do that sort of thing. I know it won't help you much at the moment, and you probably know this already, but try to remember that it's better that she walked when she did. She would have walked eventually with that attitude. I've seen it happen in relationships where there were children also. It is absolutely devastating. She's partying now and she tries to find a rich boyfriend... I think she tries to level up... She found someone and he broke up with her because it turned out that he was married... Ain't karma a b***ch ? Actually I think it's sad for her but you might as well enjoy a bit of satisfaction at that outcome. How could she do that? How I was so stupid to believe in love and to make wedding plans with her? I thought we were connected and we were meant for each other... You weren't stupid, you were lucky it didn't get as far as marriage. Now you are in a better position to avoid gold diggers in future. I was too naive to believe in love and to love someone so deeply... I will never trust to love again... Try not to think like that. Just be careful who you fall in love with. We all lose our innocence one day. Better sooner than later, and better to lose it by being hurt than by hurting someone else. Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Dear Winniethepooh, Thank you for your reply. you know what? I deeply suffered from our break up and loved her. I was secretly obsessed with the idea of her come back. But now I understand that it will never work and she will not come back to me. I am sad to loose our innocent, gameless, maskless love... Now I know that there's no such thing... How will I survive from this breakup? How anyone can have the power to hurt others so badly? You say that I can enjoy it, but I am sad for her and for us... Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thank you for your reply. you know what? I deeply suffered from our break up and loved her. I was secretly obsessed with the idea of her come back. Yeah, I get that. We all do. How will I survive from this breakup? You will. How anyone can have the power to hurt others so badly? Ah, we all have that potential. When someone falls in love with you more than you do with them, it's easy to end up hurting them. You say that I can enjoy it, Well, just smile for a moment. But yeah, there's going to be pain there for her too. but I am sad for her and for us... I know Link to comment
Raaawr Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Dear Winniethepooh, Thank you for your reply. you know what? I deeply suffered from our break up and loved her. I was secretly obsessed with the idea of her come back. But now I understand that it will never work and she will not come back to me. I am sad to loose our innocent, gameless, maskless love... Now I know that there's no such thing... How will I survive from this breakup? How anyone can have the power to hurt others so badly? You say that I can enjoy it, but I am sad for her and for us... Hey man! Listen, not everyone is like that. Yes some women will run at the first sign of trouble. Some women will fight with everything they have. Some will want the world and will reject you because you cant give them it. Others just want an ear and will give you everything just for that. All people are different. But let me ask you something, do you really want a person who wants to live in the shadow of the success of someone else? Someone who wants to be given everything and earn nothing? What about her ambitions? Her goals? Why cant she make her own wealth and happiness? Honestly, you got off lightly and early. Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hey man! Listen, not everyone is like that. Yes some women will run at the first sign of trouble. Some women will fight with everything they have. Some will want the world and will reject you because you cant give them it. Others just want an ear and will give you everything just for that. All people are different. But let me ask you something, do you really want a person who wants to live in the shadow of the success of someone else? Someone who wants to be given everything and earn nothing? What about her ambitions? Her goals? Why cant she make her own wealth and happiness? Honestly, you got off lightly and early. You're right. I don't want to live with a person like this. That's why I am sad because she was not like this before. So she's gone. It's like a death of somebody you love but nobody's died... She only doesn't exist... Link to comment
Raaawr Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 You're right. I don't want to live with a person like this. That's why I am sad because she was not like this before. So she's gone. It's like a death of somebody you love but nobody's died... She only doesn't exist... Pretty much. Now that you have acknowledged that that girl is gone (which is no fault of your own) you need to start preparing yourself for the future and future people. Just remember, she is losing out, you have a chance to grow and become stronger and better. Link to comment
Liraele Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 All this shows is that she is not who you thought she was. Did you really need confirmation of that after the break up? Probably not. Having a "reason" for it may or may not make your healing easier....that's up to you. When people show you who they are, you should believe them. She's showing who she is. Sounds like you are better off, because people like that are extremely difficult to make happy (always buying bigger, better, and getting further in debt) let alone keep that way. You need someone who loves you for you, and who doesn't care how much (or how little) money you have. Link to comment
The Man Who Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hi there Mr. Tango(magic username by the way), Don't worry about what your ex is/isn't doing - she's your ex for a reason now, there is no you and her anymore. Focus on yourself, every time you catch yourself thinking about her or worrying what she's up to then you know you need to deflect that attention back on yourself. I mean put it like this, who deserves your attention now, you or her? I think you know the answer to that one lad. Her true colours have come to the forefront and you don't like it, it's better you finding this out now than when you possibly were married to her isn't it? You dodged a big bullet there, you should be thankful more than anything else Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Pretty much. Now that you have acknowledged that that girl is gone (which is no fault of your own) you need to start preparing yourself for the future and future people. Just remember, she is losing out, you have a chance to grow and become stronger and better. Raaawr, you're right. I need to recover and heal. I need to grow and be a better man. I need to learn to be without her. Because now, I know that she's not the one. Maybe there's no such thing... It's silly to search for it. Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 All this shows is that she is not who you thought she was. Did you really need confirmation of that after the break up? Probably not. Having a "reason" for it may or may not make your healing easier....that's up to you. When people show you who they are, you should believe them. She's showing who she is. Sounds like you are better off, because people like that are extremely difficult to make happy (always buying bigger, better, and getting further in debt) let alone keep that way. You need someone who loves you for you, and who doesn't care how much (or how little) money you have. Liraele, I know that you're right. I don't care about money, I care about love. But apparently she's not like me. In fact, she's different from me. She chose her path and walking in her way. So now, I need to choose my path too... It's difficult, but that's life... Thank you for your reply... Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hi there Mr. Tango(magic username by the way), Don't worry about what your ex is/isn't doing - she's your ex for a reason now, there is no you and her anymore. Focus on yourself, every time you catch yourself thinking about her or worrying what she's up to then you know you need to deflect that attention back on yourself. I mean put it like this, who deserves your attention now, you or her? I think you know the answer to that one lad. Her true colours have come to the forefront and you don't like it, it's better you finding this out now than when you possibly were married to her isn't it? You dodged a big bullet there, you should be thankful more than anything else The Man Who, I genuinely thank you. You're right. I need to focus on myself and build a new future for myself. Because obviously she's out of the picture... I hope I will heal one day... Link to comment
Liraele Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 The Man Who, I genuinely thank you. You're right. I need to focus on myself and build a new future for myself. Because obviously she's out of the picture... I hope I will heal one day... You will. That day may be close or far, but either way, you'll get there. Link to comment
The Man Who Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 The Man Who, I genuinely thank you. You're right. I need to focus on myself and build a new future for myself. Because obviously she's out of the picture... I hope I will heal one day... Any time man Just remember any emotions you feel just simply go with the flow and embrace them, never ever sweep them under the carpet metaphorically speaking as you'll just feel worse for doing so. Take each day as it comes, live for the moment, not the past or the future and you'll get there eventually bud. Your the man on the pedestal of your life, nobody can touch you or knock you off of your own pedestal Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Any time man Just remember any emotions you feel just simply go with the flow and embrace them, never ever sweep them under the carpet metaphorically speaking as you'll just feel worse for doing so. Take each day as it comes, live for the moment, not the past or the future and you'll get there eventually bud. Your the man on the pedestal of your life, nobody can touch you or knock you off of your own pedestal So true and insightful. I am sad now, but I am fighting with it and one magical day, I will wake up and see the sun again... Thank you again... Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 You will. That day may be close or far, but either way, you'll get there. Thank you. Really, I hope so... Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 I know that I should be ok. I know that she changed. I know that I can't be happy with her again. So why it still hurts? How long it will hurt? My brain tell me to stop suffering because now I want that she doesn't deserve it but my heart continue suffering... Is there an end of this pain? Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Lord Voldemort, I understand why you said that, but I don't want any revenge... It's a sad moment for me because I just lost my belief in love... If she can be like that so everyone can be... Because she was so beautiful, innocent and lovely... How did she changed like that? Or I am the stupid in this story... Am I the naive one? I think yes... I was too naive to believe in love and to love someone so deeply... I will never trust to love again... well i was passing through same phase for 1st 7-8 months after breakup...but slowly a am opening up... it is matter of time...also that just 1 bad experience doesnt mean that all girls are bad... lot of guys also do such things...so does that mean all guys are not trustworthy????? Link to comment
mrtango Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 well i was passing through same phase for 1st 7-8 months after breakup...but slowly a am opening up... it is matter of time...also that just 1 bad experience doesnt mean that all girls are bad... lot of guys also do such things...so does that mean all guys are not trustworthy????? Lord Voldemort, you're right. That doesn't mean I can trust to nobody. Yes, I can trust people, I know it from experience but I will never love somebody so deeply, I can't bear such pain again. I will not let myself love again. I understood that true love is a rare thing and I quit expecting it. So for me, there will be no love anymore... Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Lord Voldemort, you're right. That doesn't mean I can trust to nobody. Yes, I can trust people, I know it from experience but I will never love somebody so deeply, I can't bear such pain again. I will not let myself love again. I understood that true love is a rare thing and I quit expecting it. So for me, there will be no love anymore... we don't have time-turner that we can change our past.Also we are not kids anymore that we can forget our past easily.But surely we can change our future.i too had lost faith in love after breakup.i used to think what you are thinking now.But then love comes to us in different forms than we expected.In form of friends or family!!...don't expect love.. let things come in process only.. our world is far from the filmy world... we are villian of our life and we only have to become heroes of our life.. Link to comment
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