Life is Blind my heart is DEAD my HEAD is black I feel cold

[InvisableME]

I feel so invisible. It seems there is something appellate about me to all people. Guys aren’t attracted to me making my romantic life practically nonexistent. I AM ABSTINENT BTW and don't think this is the only reason why I can't find a boyfriend. Guys TRY key word TRY to treat me bad but I don't let them. In the process I come to understand how they look at me.

If a guy does show interest it is usually sexual; not nesscaraily because he is attracted to me rather him wanting to “get off” and I am decent enough looking to get the job done. Which leads me to believe that guys think of me only as a hit-and quit classification of women. Why would they think this is I don't put ff that type of signal. I have seen girls who do and we are two worlds apart.

I AM ABSTINENT BTW

 

I refuse to be treated like am a sex object so I make it clear “they can go to hell” - I don’t act * * * * ty or dress trashy. I am not needy and I have a cool personality.. So why doesn't anyone want ot date me

 

It is like am undatable unlovable, invisible to men women everyone. I am in the background of life. The people who have been in my life have been abusive manipulative just plain horrible in their treatment of me. I have cut out those people recently. Hopefully for good.

I feel so alone, depressed fearful about my future and miserable. It is hard to wake up in the morning. What is going on …? What is it about me that no one is interested in being a part of my life..

 

Everyone is always saying am sweet, nice, smart ect ect blah blah blah BUT these same people keep their distance from me or cut me out there life altogether. If am so horrible why not say this. Why instead do I get compliments but no one wants to be around me and a regular part of my life.

I am not good enough for anyone. Why the hell am I on earth. Some would say “focuse on other people stop worrying about yourself” If am not ok in my head heart life then I can’t afford to BE focused on another person. Everything is so f***** up in my own life.

 

I am thinking about killing myself. NOONE can give me a quick response a short simple sweet response to this and really expect me to take them seriously.

It is a number of things, stuff that has accumulated over the years. So there could never be one stereo-typical answer that is going to make me feel guilty about how I feel or make me feel better.

I just want to get my feelings out there and see if anyone eles can relate.

 

Why am I alive if I don’t matter to anyone- if am undesirable as a friend romantic partner. My own blodd family abused and dispiesed me ( mainly because of they all really hated my dad. So they took out all there anger on me.

 

I really don’t care about them but its other people in my adult life. That I have been trying to bring into my life but no one wants to. But everyone I so hypocritical enough to say: such positive compliments about me. Why am I SO UNLOVEABLE UNWANTED – why don’t I belong to anyone anything. I am not good enough for anything to anyone. Why am I HERE….

 

I mind as well die I don’t really exist to anyone so its like am already dead.

 

Is there anyone that wants to be penpals ONLY a person or people who feel like I do..

[BrianH46]

I'll be your penpal, and yeah I can relate to how you feel.

[InvisableME]

Like I said : I am invisible. One reply

[mhowe]

Not everyone is up for being an emotional crutch.

[eonsunshine]

hi Invasible,

I can relate to your feeling. I felt everyone that I've been in relationship treat me like a doormat. I try to do everything right, the way they wanted, and I know that I'm capable of loving. but no one loving me back. And they go on to the next person once they found the next guy. PM me and we can be penpal. Oh ya what is BTW means?