Chandra Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I feel like I am terrible at picking partners, selected wishy washy mates who cannot make up the their minds, be open and have a relationship with me. I have dated younger women (22ish) and both of my previous relationships have ended this way, after about 7 or 8 months when it becomes to hard to for them and they cannot commit. I have investigated all possibilities of my own character defect or lack of attractiveness, but I just can't believe that is the primary reason. Lots of women find me attractive and I would imagine I am reasonable "dateable." I don't get over-needy or detached. I am steady and don't make stupid decisions. I am very giving, patient and considerate. Have any other males or females have similar experience with this? I would love to hear. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Why are you dating younger women (college-age)? That's your problem right there. Most of them aren't going to be able commit. I'm 22 and am in a LTR with a guy who is my age but I can tell you that MOST people my age aren't that committed and are scared of being "tied down". That goes for both guys and girls. You should probably start looking into dating people who've been out of college a few years, have a job going, and are more likely to want to settle down and commit. Link to comment
lanaa Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 most girls 22 wont commit since its too early.i am 22 and know most my friends want to have fun and enjoy life,no one wants a serious relationship..if it happens,it happens..but its not like people look for that Link to comment
RodeoJones Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I'm 30 and I have recently dated women ranging from 23-33. The women who are in the 23-24 range seem to be looking just to date and have fun. The women closer to my age seem to be more serious about finding a committed relationship. You'll have a better chance of finding what you're currently looking for if you date someone your age or even a little bit older. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The age for marriage and "commitment" is steadily rising. That's not to say you can't find women in their early 20's looking for a ltr, but they're going to be rare, just as you are in fact, rare. Indeed, regardless of gender, very few people are willing to settle down. They may say "I love you," they may seem comfortable and committed and then bang, they're walking out the door, because they don't want to be tied down. Oh well, society changes. Link to comment
dobbin Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 both my ex and i are are 28. i want to settle down and he does not. clearly i need to look for an older man who is more established, knows what he wants and feels ready to settle down. all the people that i know who got married under 30 are from a certain demographic. it seems most people in their early 20's just wants to have fun. maybe you will have more luck dating women in their late 20's who want to settle down. Link to comment
Chandra Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks for your comments. I suppose you are all right that I am looking at the wrong demographic here. I live in a City where people get married VERY early and by the 30s the single population is pretty decimated, though not impossible. They were pretty smart and ambitious women so I suppose I simply overestimated their maturity. Dating is not the greatest here for someone like me... I'm a grad student right now and I am free to wander in 6 months.... maybe I just need a new adventure. Onward and upward right? Link to comment
lanaa Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 look for girls around age 24-25 they are usually more mature then Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Young or old you are going to run into people that won't commit. You find people in their 30's who won't commit and you will find people in their early 20's that will. Luck of the straw my friend, but don't give up. Link to comment
aminaSa Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Young or old you are going to run into people that won't commit. You find people in their 30's who won't commit and you will find people in their early 20's that will. Luck of the straw my friend, but don't give up. sure,but we are speaking here how it is usually,the girls over 25 will comit in most cases,those under,will most probably not(if you are not a millionaire and brad pitt lol) Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 sure,but we are speaking here how it is usually,the girls over 25 will comit in most cases,those under,will most probably not(if you are not a millionaire and brad pitt lol) Funny you mentioned that because after I looked at the previous women I dated which all were over 25 and none would commit. Guess I need to be Brad Pitt and be a millionaire! Link to comment
Chandra Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Well I should clarify this as well. Not only were they young, but their ambitions were pushing them to be flexible with the personal lives so that they could achieve their professional goals. Coming out of college if you are very ambitious, it is hard to commit to relationship. They both did love me, but were too stressed out at the possibility of sacrificing anything in their lives for a relationship. This is probably where it would be helpful to date an older, more accomplished partner who is less likely to feel unstable and want to leave. I get why they didn't work and it's hard to say that I would have done it differently. They were both special and good relationships, I just got hurt in the end. But that's life. Nothing ventured nothing gained right? Link to comment
Chandra Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Funny you mentioned that because after I looked at the previous women I dated which all were over 25 and none would commit. Guess I need to be Brad Pitt and be a millionaire! From what I've seen many millionaires have it all and they really suck at committing to any one person Link to comment
lanaa Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 From what I've seen many millionaires have it all and they really suck at committing to any one person maybe they don't want to settle down? Link to comment
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