Confused about everything with ex.....help!

[carlay31]

Lately I've been really missing my ex. I don't know what's been going on. It's December and he dumped me in early June. I don't know why I can't get over it? He's on my mind every second and sometimes I cry at night reminiscing. I feel pathetic....that it's been this long that he's dumped me and I'm still not over it. To whoever who is reading this....have you ever been with someone...even if it was a short time and you feel like you knew them your whole life? And you just had this great connection right away.? Me and him had the best relationship but so many things happened. We fought which lead to me blocking him off of everything and I know that sounds immature but he said really hurtful things to me (few months after we brokeup) and I told him I didn't want him in my life anymore. He sounded hurt when I said that. It's been maybe 2 months that I've done those things but I'm kind of thinking that we should reconcile but I don't think I want to now. He apologized to me but I didn't forgive him and I don't think I will anytime soon. When he sees me, even now, he stares that it's totally obvious he's looking and I catch him all the time. I don't plan on getting back with him or want to...I just miss that bond we shared, our friendship. We knew everything about eachother. I'm thinking about waiting a few months so any other feelings are officially not there if we do become friends again. He's done this with the girl before me. They didn't talk at all and blocked each other for a year and a year later he came to her and apologized and now they're bestfriends. Maybe he'll do the same with me since he told me I was the best gf he ever had and he'll always love me and he wants to be with me again and other things like I'm the most beautiful girl he knows and other stuff. This was when he was breaking up with me that he said these things and he cried while he said them. I know he misses me too. I get curious sometimes and I'm able to read his tweets if it's on someone else's account since he's blocked on mine and some are about me. They don't directly say my name, but you can obviously tell it's about me. He hasn't had a gf since me either and even months after we brokeup he asked if I had a bf and I said no, you? And he said I told you, I'll never date anyone again after you and I laughed but he was serious. This is just a person I'll never forget and don't want to lose forever. Maybe my hopes are too high? Sorry, I'm ranting but I've been very confused lately. Someone please help me.

[tatzoo]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

 

Sounds like you need to get off the fence and try and work it out, just my opinion. There is a reason your not over it....look at it this way..

 

There has been plenty of time since your break up, make up your mind to give it one last shot. Go to him and try to work it out. If he resists, you know where you stand and move on...

[winniethepooh]

I don't know why I can't get over it?

Sometimes it takes longer than other times

 

have you ever been with someone...even if it was a short time and you feel like you knew them your whole life?

Not my whole life but thought I knew them very well, very quickly (then it turned out I didn't

 

And you just had this great connection right away.?

Yes. Well maybe not RIGHT away but fairly quickly.

 

and I told him I didn't want him in my life anymore. He sounded hurt when I said that.

He probably was feeling hurt.

 

It's been maybe 2 months that I've done those things but I'm kind of thinking that we should reconcile but I don't think I want to now.

Why do you think you should?

Why don't you want to?

 

He apologized to me but I didn't forgive him and I don't think I will anytime soon.

Apologized for what? And why don't you want to forgive him?

 

I don't plan on getting back with him or want to...

But you said sometimes you think you should reconcile?

 

I just miss that bond we shared, our friendship.

That's normal.

 

I'm thinking about waiting a few months so any other feelings are officially not there if we do become friends again.

That makes sense if you think only want to be friends with him. Whether or not you can be is something to worry about then, not now.

 

He's done this with the girl before me. They didn't talk at all and blocked each other for a year and a year later he came to her and apologized and now they're bestfriends. Maybe he'll do the same with me since he told me I was the best gf he ever had and he'll always love me and he wants to be with me again and other things like I'm the most beautiful girl he knows and other stuff.

Having a relationship and having a friendship are two different things. You can't figure out if you can or want to have just a friendship until after you've gotten over the relationship break-up.

 

This was when he was breaking up with me that he said these things and he cried while he said them.

Gaaaah. That just leaves you messed up. To say the sorts of things he did, and then break up with you.

 

I know he misses me too. I get curious sometimes and I'm able to read his tweets if it's on someone else's account since he's blocked on mine and some are about me. They don't directly say my name, but you can obviously tell it's about me. He hasn't had a gf since me either and even months after we brokeup he asked if I had a bf and I said no, you? And he said I told you, I'll never date anyone again after you and I laughed but he was serious.

This kind of thing just drags out the break up and slows down your healing from it.

 

This is just a person I'll never forget and don't want to lose forever.

You won't forget him but the relationship has ended, by his choice, and you need to focus on healing from that, not whether or not you'll lose him forever.

 

Maybe my hopes are too high?

Hopes of what? A friendship? Then they're misplaced at the moment, not too high. It's just something that you need to put aside until you've healed.

 

Sorry, I'm ranting but I've been very confused lately. Someone please help me.

Yes, you sound confused.

 

It's not clear to me if you want to get back together or not. It seems like you don't want to lose the connection to him but you have. He broke it by leaving you so now you need to heal first before figuring out if you want to re-establish some sort of connection with him. You might find in months to come that you don't.

 

And after he left you, it seems to me that you made it clear you didn't want to get back together with him (although I don't really know what he wanted). So if that's not correct, then you've left him with mixed messages. I don't know if there's a way to fix that, but before you even think about that, you need to be clear about what you want.

 

Anyway, you also posted yesterday about another guy you're interested in? I think trying to get involved with someone else is at the moment is going to mean you get more confused about things, not less.