imonlyhuman Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 it's been awhile since i've posted here, outside of commenting on other people's threads. it's about... 10 months since the breakup. i've come a very long way with my healing and regaining myself. NC was the best plan of action for me, and i'd like to thank the people on these forums for such great advice. i have been very good at keeping to NC, and i'm improving, albeit slowly. i probably think about her a little every day. i don't have any breakdowns, i just feel a little down for a bit, and i work on picking myself up again. it feels like my heart was broken into the smallest slivers, and it's taking forever for me to find all the pieces because i cannot see them, i can only feel around for them; and every heart sliver i find, comes with re-opening small wounds. i'm not sure what kind of advice i'd like... i've gone out with a bunch of girls, for the past few months. there's probably four girls, at the moment, that text me and want to hang out. i don't really want any of them. i don't know if it's because they're just not right for me... or if i'm still too hung up on my ex. i certainly miss my ex, but i've come to a pretty good understanding that i need to move on with my life, and i'm trying to. i don't think about my ex when i'm out with these girls, which i think is a good sign. i don't know... i heard from a very good friend of mine, who is a friend of a good friend of my ex, that my ex expressed a desire to be friends. i don't think i want to deal with that. i'm not so sure doing that will give me a chance at reconciliation. and i do wish her happiness, but i really do not want to know about her life without me. additionally, if she really wanted to be friends, she should ask. i was not the one that asked me to stop contacting her, i don't want to hear this stuff secondhand. healing after a breakup sucks. i'm gonna keep going though. stick with NC. and hope i eventually meet the right girl, i guess. short rant: songs on the radio are awful. girls fawn all over the love songs that guys sing, and how they profess their love and miss the girl. never works in real life. thanks. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I like this. I'm on 8 months and feel just the same. Still think about her every day but it doesn't hurt my guts to do so! It's much more numb now. Some days I feel a strong anger towards her for the way she left and how much of a coward she's been. But it just lasts a little while til I'm back to me again. I went NC from the first week and we've not had contact since then. 8 months. 8 months of not speaking to the girl I was gonna marry?! That alone seems strange. To be so in love one week and the it's all over! Haha... How strangely and quickly life can change. Good luck chum and by all read posts you're doing fine. Once the shattered pieces are put back together it'll start working again and you'll find another that you like/love. Plus... All muscle repairs stronger than before. The heart is a funny thing man. Peace Link to comment
mrtango Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 "I went NC from the first week and we've not had contact since then. 8 months. 8 months of not speaking to the girl I was gonna marry?! That alone seems strange. To be so in love one week and the it's all over! Haha... How strangely and quickly life can change." Our situations are similar except that I am in 5th month of break-up and NC. One day she was in love with me and we were gonna marry and the other out of the blue she decided to delete me completely from her life. So I gave her that. I am in strict NC since our breakup and it's really hard to stick to NC. Everyday I force myself to live without her. It's getting easier day by day but I miss her so much. It's not changed at all... Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I am with you too. V low the last couple of days in spite of having the tools to lift myself up. I have wondered if it is possible to just die in ones sleep if one desires it enough. I am tired of trying...so very f....ng tired. I dont want to burden my family with my pain and am trying to put on a brave face but today I dont want to do my affirmations, my positive thinking....I am being too impatient I know and want results now. i just want to weep for today- so i get to a state of numbness where nothing really matters. I shall squeeze in a prayer for us that something nice happens soon that really helps us feel strong and to have Faith that joy awaits us somehow , somewhere. X CD Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Imonlyhuman: Regarding songs on the radio - They are a killer. But I worry if I postpone listening to music for a year or two , the pain will come flooding back later on when I think I am ok to do so. Other dates? some people think it can help you move on but I think if your heart isnt in it then dont date. If you do choose to date with the idea of trying to forget your ex and move on , then just be honest with your new girl about this. Good Luck Link to comment
bunghole99 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I'M struggling at the moment, thought i was ready to start dating, been seeing a lovely girl, but i've got to dump her as i miss my ex to much! its only been 2.5 months since BU, and 1.5 months NC! i feel terrible as she's now going to be very very hurt. (my ex dumped me out of the blue, like you guys above) it doesnt help that a close friend killed themselves on monday night! i'm really struggling today, just want to hear my ex's voice Link to comment
Wulfgardt Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Im only a month into my breakup since the girl i was going to marry finished with me,i cant do nc because we have a little boy so makes healing even harder.I guess if you truly loved someone you nevcer completely get over it but just hope it gets easier. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 it's been awhile since i've posted here, outside of commenting on other people's threads. it's about... 10 months since the breakup. i've come a very long way with my healing and regaining myself. NC was the best plan of action for me, and i'd like to thank the people on these forums for such great advice. i have been very good at keeping to NC, and i'm improving, albeit slowly. Congratulations! i probably think about her a little every day. i don't have any breakdowns, i just feel a little down for a bit, and i work on picking myself up again. it feels like my heart was broken into the smallest slivers, and it's taking forever for me to find all the pieces because i cannot see them, i can only feel around for them; and every heart sliver i find, comes with re-opening small wounds. That makes perfect sense and is perfectly normal. Take your time. i'm not sure what kind of advice i'd like... i've gone out with a bunch of girls, for the past few months. there's probably four girls, at the moment, that text me and want to hang out. i don't really want any of them. i don't know if it's because they're just not right for me... or if i'm still too hung up on my ex. i certainly miss my ex, but i've come to a pretty good understanding that i need to move on with my life, and i'm trying to. i don't think about my ex when i'm out with these girls, which i think is a good sign. i don't know... How long have you known these girls? Could it possibly be that you just dont know them well enough? That is a very good sign. i heard from a very good friend of mine, who is a friend of a good friend of my ex, that my ex expressed a desire to be friends. i don't think i want to deal with that. i'm not so sure doing that will give me a chance at reconciliation. and i do wish her happiness, but i really do not want to know about her life without me. additionally, if she really wanted to be friends, she should ask. i was not the one that asked me to stop contacting her, i don't want to hear this stuff secondhand. Friends. Friends means hearing about guys she meets and places she goes. It wont, forget reconciliation. If she wanted that you would know. healing after a breakup sucks. i'm gonna keep going though. stick with NC. and hope i eventually meet the right girl, i guess. short rant: songs on the radio are awful. girls fawn all over the love songs that guys sing, and how they profess their love and miss the girl. never works in real life. thanks. Keep going! Yes the radio sucks, I keep it turned off during work. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I'm almost two years removed from my breakup. I was with my ex for 14 years. I'm at peace with myself now and am in a very good place. I've moved on to date another person who seems quite nice and life is good. It takes time, a lot of it, to totally move on. But you do get there. People expect things to be better much too quickly. If you had a REALLY significant relationship, not just someone you dated for a bit, it takes time to process the damage done by the end of that relationship. Friends with your ex from that relationship probably isn't possible. Ever. At the very least it will take a few years before you can even think about crossing that bridge. So my advice is , don't even entertain that thought. Keep on going in the direction you are and keep her in the past. Link to comment
imonlyhuman Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 I'M struggling at the moment, thought i was ready to start dating, been seeing a lovely girl, but i've got to dump her as i miss my ex to much! its only been 2.5 months since BU, and 1.5 months NC! i feel terrible as she's now going to be very very hurt. (my ex dumped me out of the blue, like you guys above) it doesnt help that a close friend killed themselves on monday night! i'm really struggling today, just want to hear my ex's voice i'm really sorry for your loss, bunghole. i hope you're doing ok. and i'm very impressed by all the people that went NC immediately after their breakups. i sort of did that for a week or so, but then i broke down and i guess i made things worse before i came here and learned about NC and that i had been doing the right thing for a bit. ah well. stay strong. Link to comment
mrtango Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 There's nothing to be impressed about immediate NC, because she wanted it. I have respect of her decisions and I gave her that. I must admit that the very first days of NC were horrible. Now it's difficult but at least I can bear it after 4 and a half months. But nothing has changed: I miss her very much, I love her very much. But she stopped suddenly loving me back. I can't be angry to her. I am just sad. Link to comment
imonlyhuman Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 There's nothing to be impressed about immediate NC, because she wanted it. I have respect of her decisions and I gave her that. I must admit that the very first days of NC were horrible. Now it's difficult but at least I can bear it after 4 and a half months. But nothing has changed: I miss her very much, I love her very much. But she stopped suddenly loving me back. I can't be angry to her. I am just sad. still... giving her that... it was so hard for me to do that. it took something drastic to snap me out of my craze and realize the error of my ways. Link to comment
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