I'm moving away!

[locacita]

I was going through a hard time deciding whether or not I should tell my ex boyfriend I was moving... Well, about a month ago I told him the opportunity came up but I didn't give him many details. My move is actually approaching very quickly (this Friday) and I still didn't give him any details. I've been struggling with packing up alone and have just been quite emotional lately. He lives in the same apartment complex as me and this morning noticed that my car is packed up. He sent me an email saying he noticed and realizes that I must be leaving soon. He said that despite our ups and downs, he would like to say goodbye before I move. I did not reply because I need a day or two to think about it. Well, six hours later he sent another email saying he gets the hint. He told me to have a great life and thanked me for allowing him to be a part of it for a bit. I don't know if I should reply... what the heck is he doing? We haven't talked in a while and he could have asked me details or said he wanted to see me a while ago but has decided to only do it once I stopped talking to him and once he sees my car all ready to go.

Would it be horrible if I continue to ignore him? I've realized that replying will not do any good no matter what his reaction. I think the biggest impact on my moving on will be from letting it go and not looking back. Nor, do I believe he deserves a reply from me... I'm just a mess right now, three days before my cross country move.

[forlackof]

I am doing the same thing.

 

My ex moved 15 hours+ away for a a job. I have not talked to him in months and months. I am moving this Friday and I see no point in telling him. When someone breaks up with you, they are cutting you out of their life (they grow distant, etc). You have no obligation to tell him anything if you don't feel like it or if it's too emotional for you. The way I see it is to protect your emotional well being first.

[MK9]

Why are you ignoring him, again?

[octour]

Stop thinking about what you have lost or will be losing and start thinking about what you will be gaining. He could have contacted you well before this. And he needs to see your car all packed up for him to contact you and it was by email? I moved recently from NJ to FL. Partly as a career move but mostly to get away from my ex and the small town we both lived in. I didn't tell her anything and don't care to. She wanted me out of her life. She tried to talk to me once by showing up one day but I denied her then and I denied her when I moved. She left me for someone else. Screw her. I owe her nothing just like you owe him nothing. This is your life, not his. I am so glad I moved. The opportunities and the times I have already had far outweigh anything I could have experienced had I stayed in NJ. This is an opportunity for you to better your life. Take it and don't look back. It will empower you.

[CookieMonster8]

I don't know how it ended or why but what does your gut tell you to do? Do you think you'll regret it if you don't say good-bye and always wonder "what if"? I would start there before deciding.

[winniethepooh]

This is from one of your previous threads (and everything has happened within the past month as far as I can tell) ...

 

A huge part of my life is missing without him. I made the mistake of "giving up" when times got rough and he ran with it, making my space permanent.

And in the aftermath, you made it clear you wanted to get back together with him, he made it clear he didn't. So either he really doesn't, or he's playing games. It sounds like there's been enough opportunity for him to stop playing games if that was the case, so then you have to accept he doesn't want to be part of your life in a relationship. Anything else is something to worry about after you've healed from the break-up. I don't get the sense that you have yet. Or him given that he said this not so long ago ...

 

We went back and forth with mean emails then apology emails then finally I ended it and wished him well. He replied with "Sorry for ruining the last seven months of you life".

 

And now he says this ...

 

He told me to have a great life and thanked me for allowing him to be a part of it for a bit.

What is your motivation for telling him about the move? And if you were to meet with him, what do you expect would happen? Hope would happen?

 

He said that despite our ups and downs, he would like to say goodbye before I move. I did not reply because I need a day or two to think about it. Well, six hours later he sent another email saying he gets the hint.

To me that says he's still emotionally affected by the break-up. He's trying to be respectful then discovering it hurts, and reacts accordingly.

 

If you want to be dignified about it, and think you can cope emotionally, and don't have any hidden agendas, then you could suggest a meeting time/place to say goodbye, and leave it up to him whether he wants to or not. But I think that's going to be difficult for both of you.

 

Or just send him a message (email perhaps) to say you appreciate the time you had together, you're still healing from the break-up and you're not emotionally ready to meet him to say goodbye at present, and you hope he understands that.

 

Or ignore him completely, but I think given the recent communication, that's just going to look odd, to say the least.

[locacita]

Thank you! I think I will reply but not meet up with him because I know I'm not ready to do that. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts!!