Seriously?

[DogsAreLove]

Long story short; I`ve been suffering from clinical depression for about a year. when me and my ex boyfriend broke up 4 months ago, I was regaining my confidence and slowly getting better. We broke up because his attitude was "get better fast, or else" and I couldn`t deal with that- it wasn`t good for my recovery whatsoever.

 

Anyways fast forward to the breakup, he admitted I was an inconveniece on him, as terrible as that was to take, I was sortof fine, whatever. A few days later he had written a very nasty post about me, and being in that mind frame I almost took my life. My friend had to talk to me on the phone for hours to talk me out of it. I ended up not doing it but still hated myself. Eventually I asked a few friends to delete him off facebook because I could see he was purposely commenting on my friends`statuses so I would see and it was annoying me. I just could not deal with it. I admit it was a bit of an immature thing for me to ask but hey if they`re my friends then it should not be a problem-why do they need him on their facebooks anyways?

 

So my friend who talked me out of killing myself finally deleted him, as did that friend`s good friend who I`ve been close with for EIGHT years.

Last week I learned that my ex blocked me from facebook and re-added those two friends-the one who I`ve been close with for 8 years, and the one who KNEW I almost ended my life because of this idiot. They accepted his friend request.

The one who talked me out of me killing myself admitted he had done it because he was MAD AT ME for not having any time to hang out with him. The other one who I have been friends with for 8 years told me off. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

 

I find it EXTREMELY disrespectful on their ends that they would go behind my back and do that.

 

My main concern here is that we have a TON of mutual friends... of which I'm trying to stray away from for obvious reasons... I guess what I am asking for is a little encouragement that I am not thinking irrationally and that I should delete those "friends" because they are not true friends.This is not about me being over my ex or not-because I totally am, I don`t need someone like him, unwilling to care for someone he supposedly loves because they are going through a difficult situation. This is about my friends and the fact that they'd be so unloyal to me. They met him through ME. It's not like I met him through them. The one friend I did meet him through went on a date with him 2 weeks after the breakup and then went to his cottage but that's a totally different story.

 

I`m doing a LOT better in my mental state now, and I have no desire to be friends with people who would purposely be-friend someone who made me feel so worthless and horrible about myself when they are supposed to be supportive of me.

 

Soo yeah... after all this has been typed out, I feel silly asking this, but, am I doing the right thing by completely cutting them out of my life??

[camus154]

So you think these friends of yours aren't real friends because of some silly facebook drama?

 

Got news for you, kid. Facebook isn't real life. Pass it on to the rest of your generation.

[DogsAreLove]

Wow what a useful response!!

[camus154]

It's more useful than you might realize. Facebook doesn't matter. Adding people on Facebook doesn't matter. The fact that you think it does is rather sad, but also sadly typical.

 

You're 23 years old. You're an adult. What you're discussing here amounts to high school drama.

[DogsAreLove]

I understand that, but being angry at my friends for befriending someone who almost caused me to end my life when I was in a very bad mental state is quite serious and uncalled for of them in my point of view, I mean, that's life and death * * * * * * * .

[gal1989]

 

Dogsarelove if you mean those mutual friends, it is up to you what feels right. You said your friend added him because he WAS MAD AT YOU? Forget the fact that it was Facebook because the fact is its bothering you, you deserve advice on it! They did something that they knew would upset you, a friend couldn't do that. You could ask them why they re added him, ask them to delete him, and if they don't? I guess they aren't considering you at all (for whatever reason) You could delete these 2?

 

With regard to the other mutual friends you said, if this is what you post is about, if getting them put of your life/avoiding them feels right to you, thrn do it if it help your recovery, I certainly would too xx

[DogsAreLove]

 

Yes our schedules did not work out so that we could hang out so he re-added my ex after I was at the lowest point in my life... I know I want to get them both out of my life but I just need reassurance I guess??

[blueidealist24]

I know it's only facebook but I can see where you're coming from. Facebook behaviour is representative of the way people feel in real life often. I think it was rude of your two friends to add your ex back especially when they're supposively your best friends and they were friends with you before him. I'm not really sure what you should do/say to these two friends, but you should probably rethink calling them your best friends. That being said, maybe since they've never had clinical depression they don't realize quite how bad you feel or take your past suicidal feelings seriously enough. They may think that your depression isn't as big of a deal as it is, and re-adding him isn't something to be taken seriously either. It's hard to explain depression to people who have never had it and expect them to understand.

[DogsAreLove]

Thank you for your response.

I agree with you, that they may not get it but what wows me is that they were THERE through the entire thing.

Like everything just seems really fishy right now with these friends... I'm thinking of doing a straight up cut and RUN and never associate with them again.