Best method for healing a a broken relationship and getting another chance

[ryan2600]

My girlfriend of 4 year left me last week. She refused to answer my phone calls, breaking up over text. This angered me, I called her a bunch of times, she never answered. I accused her of being a coward. I started becoming majorly depressed as well. So I wrote her a email telling her how much I was sorry for neglecting her, which I was doing. I also mentioned in the email I was not going to contact her again since it seemed clear she did not want to talk to me.

 

I was neglecting her needs but at the same time I am going through a real tough year myself. I know we both loved each other at one point. 2 weeks prior to the breakup she had mentioned marriage a number of times, which makes me even more confused. I should also mention she has done this before a couple times (she can be real indecisive and emotional), but she has never outright cut me off from communication. What can I do to try to mend things? I think she viewed this last term as my last shot.

 

Should I just stay silent and hope for the best? Give it a couple weeks and try again?

 

Thanks in advance for any help.

[genuine1607308647]

Welcome to eNA,

 

I think your only option here is no contact, especially if you want to heal yourself.....rather than the broken relationship.

 

It is cowardly to not breakup in person, and I feel your pain as a similar thing happened to me, I was together with my ex for almost 5 years.

 

You said that she has done this before and you think its your last chance? Did she communicate with you about the neglecting and the way she felt? If she did and you still havent changed then maybe she has decided the relationship wasn't for her.

 

I think you will have to wait longer than a couple of weeks, she will still feel very emotional and I doubt anything will change in her mind that soon. If she wants to talk she will contact you, but you really cant wait for this to happen as it might not. Who knows? Go focus on yourself, and maybe this will give you some time to deal with the tough issues you're currently facing.

 

All the best

[Ms Darcy]

You seem to have developed a break up, makeup, break up pattern. You should think more about why that is and what did not happen during each reconciliation that should have happened (like talking through issues).

[ryan2600]

She is the one who has been leaving, try as I might I just can not keep her 100% happy. I am going to give it some time. 2 weeks at least. I actually got an app to separate out her calls and texts so I don't go crazy looking for them on my phone. That way I can check any at my choosing.

 

I love her so much and I know she loves me. But she had said she was looking for a perfect relationship and I was not it. Why do people look for perfection and drop what seems to be a good thing?

[Ms Darcy]

You can't change her and you can't change her beliefs. You may think she's looking for the perfect relationship, but I think she's looking for someone who is right for her. Love in the long-term isn't enough. I would let her go for good if I were you.

 

You can't keep this up with someone who tells you over and over you aren't good enough by leaving.