damnyoumind Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now and he is an AMAZING guy without a doubt. However, i have HUGE insecurities, and i dont know where they come from. Things like getting anxious and wanting to go through his laptop and his cell when he is in the shower or while he is at work. SO FAR i have restrained myself from doing so.....but its getting insanely hard. He was with his last gf since he was a senior in high school and actually married her. He is now 26 and they just got seperated and divorced a few months before we started dating. He said she was a B***h and that she treated him like crap and cheated on him as well. I worry ALOT that he will go back to her or that he misses her alot just because they had such a long history together. i mean that was most of his life there. He also says before her in hs he had tons of partners and threesomes and then when he got with her he said during the span of his relationship he NEVER EVER cheated. which isnt my problem. but for some reason i worry he will cheat on me. he said he is not like that........and that when he makes a promise he keeps them....but for me its a "heard that and been burned" before sort of line. i have heard it ALL. i have been cheated on sooooooo many times that i am pretty sure i have literally heard every line in the book about how they wont cheat and they arent like that and blah blah blah.....anyway.......my bf is very respectable....but he says i am everything he has ever wanted....i dont get upset when he makes comments about beautiful girls or makes funny comments about sexual stuff.....but it seems like * * * * s, boobs all those things are always on his mind and he makes dumb comments about them. he has never done anything to make me think he is doing anything shady. in fact he always has his phone on and leaves it laying around me........he checks his texts and his facebook around me with no fear and he leaves himself logged into his email and his facebook on his laptop where i can easily open it when he isnt home and have free reign to go through his stuff. my question is.......does he leave himself logged in because he has nothing to hide...or because he wants me to THINK he has nothing to hide therefore making it to where i would have no reason to want to go through it????? i know, i probably sound crazy. i had a really rough upbringing..parents divorced at 8.........tons of bad relationships with cheating and beating.....but is it possible that this guy i am dating now is really a great guy and has nothing to hide??? my heart wants me to believe so...but my head is telling me to beware. i watch everything he does...its ridiculous.....like if his phone gets a text and he is going back and forth my mind automatically thinks the worst. i am so bad that i look at receipts i find and wonder where they are from and look for things to find. i dont know why i do it...i think my mind believes that if i dont look for things then i will be blindsided....and by looking it saves me time from wasting with someone if they are gonna hurt me. i would rather find it then wait and find out later that they did. he told me "if there is something you need to know i will tell you". meaning if someone texts or messages him or something happens that is shady or inappropriate he will tell me. He tells me everytime his ex wife has texted him even if its just for paperwork.....and he isnt even around me when it happens.....he is at work....and takes his time to let me know. so why am i so worried?! why do i keep digging for the bad? he tells me that my distrust and nagging and questioning is slowly pushing him away!!! help me! i dont want to lose him...what can i do to keep these evil thoughts and everything from destroying us! from ME destroying us! i even try to piece together things fromt he past to catch him in lies...and i still have not found A THING that he has lied about or done wrong........ADVICE PLEASE! Link to comment
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