Confusing Breakup, need help to understand

[LupinT3rd]

Does she love me still? or has she lost interest? I am so confused.

 

My girlfriend and I have been going out for the past 13 months. A few days ago I noticed that somthing was wrong, she would becoming quiet around me and on occasion try to avoid me. well, I went to ask her what was wrong and she said she wasnt sure, the next day she went off for a walk in the park and when she came back she told me that she doesnt love me, but loves me as a friend.

 

Our relationship was a good one as far as I can tell, we were trusting of each other. We did have a argument once and a long while, but it is nothing different then an average couple. I am in alot of pain and am very confused, I need help, I dunno what to do. I am 19 and she will be 18 at the end of this month. I asked her if it was anything I did, but she just said that she just doesnt really love me, she just loves me as a friend... she also said that she has no regrets about being together with me. This is...was.... my first and only girlfriend in my life so far and I am her second boyfriend.

 

Please help me, I am hurting and not sure what to do or say.

 

- Alfie

[Mike_Wazowski]

The Good Ole "I love you as a friend" line or "Let's just be friends" line......Damn..women have be using those since the beginning of time..

 

Your hurting bro.....You just got a stake drove through your heart..right?

 

My advice to you is this....She just wants to be friends...Ok..agree to that and then totally IGNORE her! I mean TOTALLY....don't talk to her, don't email her, don't look at her.....nothing!

 

Trust me.....if you do that for a few weeks...two thing will happen.

 

1) She will come crawling back to you (Then you have the Power to set the ground rules for the relationship)

* Now..if you use the Ignore route...don't be sulking and whining...you gotta show that you could really careless if you see her or talk to her or not. SHOW her that you can have FUN without her.....!

 

2) She won't come back. If this one happens, then you know she REALLY just wants to be friends..in that case, MOVE ON!!

 

You're only 19, you'll have MANY Loves / girlfriends before you decide to settle down!

 

 

When I was 19, I loved my girlfriend SO MUCH! All I could think about was marrying her at that young age......Now 39, looking back..I'm darn glad we broke up. I would have missed out on so many things in life, meeting new people, going away to college, spending 4 years in Hawaii surfing, and finally settling down in Japan....

 

It's best at your age to try to have FUN and not get too serious about one girl....I know it's easy to say, but now you are available......Do what I told ya or date around, enjoy being 19 bro! Cause once those years are gone, you'll never never get them back.....

[bader]

I agree with the above,

 

But you are doing one thing wrong. YOU ACT like a WUSS around her. That why she see you as a friend. Read some David DeAngelo or better still buy his CD, to save you from being a WUSSY.

 

The Sad truth is most women like the bad boys frame, the ideal person is the one without the abuse attached.

 

There are more fish in the sea, so try to change your attitude around her or swim on.

[LupinT3rd]

Thank you both for your advice,

Even though it hurts, I have decided that maybe moving on and just try to be her friend. my friends have helped me alot, as has your advice. As for being a wuss... hmm, I dunno how to reply to that. We both have discussed alot in the past few days, She says that even though we can't be together, she would still like to be a very close friend with me... as long as it is ok with me. I am not quite sure how to reply to that... she also tells me that I am the only person she knows and trusts to be that close with her.

 

I tell you, even though this was my first relationship with a women, I would have to say that if given the choice, I would do it again, even through all the painfull times and fun times. thanks for all your help and for the advice.

[bader]

Thank you both for your advice,

As for being a wuss... hmm, I dunno how to reply to that.

You don't reply to a statement like this, do something about it, read and apply the knowledge gained and observe/ adapt to what works for you.

 

Keep her as a friend, because as you change she will give you feedback comparing you before and now.

 

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

 

De-Wussify yourself, walk up to ten women everyday and just talk to them for 1 -3 min, build up your confidence.

 

Nike: Just Do It - Change