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How can I get him back? Please help!


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I've been dating my SO for the past 3 years. He is without a doubt the love of my life and I've somehow managed to singlehandedly ruin my relationship. Things used to be really great until I became possessive, controlling, jealous and overall almost like a dog towards him. This all began when his ex started to contact him and write love letters of how she missed the old days of them being together. I guess I felt threatened and lashed out. Well, this lashing out never stopped. For a year he has been beginning me to stop being so controlling and obsessive. He has promised me he would only be with and no other woman means what I do to him. The funny part is that I trust him but I couldn't suppress the insane controlling monster within me.


We had a blow out last week and my SO said he's putting his foot down because he doesn't think I will ever change. He says he's been pleading with me for a year to change my behavior but since I haven't he just can't live like this anymore. I've only begun to realize over the past few weeks the significance of my atrocious ways. I am losing the man I love, my soulmate, my everything.


I let him be for a few days and we spoke with LC but today I asked him if it really was the last straw for him. He says he's not sure and that he loves me and wants to be with me but he believes that if I really did care for him I would have cleaned up my act a long time ago, but instead I just kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again.


I have spoken with a therapist and I know I need to change. I have recognized my issue and I want to change for myself and for my relationship. My question here is that he is very on the fence about getting back together because he feels that I will not change my behavior (since I haven't for over a year). Nothing I say will show him this of course, actions speak louder than words. His ex still contacts him from time to time and as much as I don't want to feel like she may be a backup, I can't help but have that thought in my mind.


Please help me figure out what the best way would be to salvage my relationship. I know so many people on here have such positive insight and I would be eternally grateful to all.

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