Is he an A-hole or just shy?

[jello2610]

I'm a 21 yr old female with no guys friends who works out with the same group of guys in a small group fitness class. Recently I've set my sights on one guy to friend because I noticed he was always staring at me and I found out we had a mutual friend (she says he is shy). every time i talk to him in person he was receptive but he won't initiate conversation or say hi. I facebook chatted him twice and he was very chatty, the conversation was friendly and mostly about class. He seemed to act weird around me after we chatted on fb, won't talk to me in person unless I initiate, and now averts eye contact but I can tell he is watching me as I talk with other people in the class.Also he has mysteriously deactivated his facebook. Now I feel weird trying to talk to him in class. I really don't think i've given him any mixed signals, I've really only been friendly! My first impression of him was that he was an a-hole because he is the most athletic in the class and good looking but yet doesn't talk to anybody. Is this guy shy or just a tool? And how do I friend him without having to do all the work?

[FathomFear]

I wouldn't assume that he's an "a-hole" just because he's quiet. He might just be shy or socially awkward. Does your mutual friend given any indication that he's different after you get to know him for a while, or is this pretty much his personality 24/7?

[jello2610]

Our mutual friend says he is socially awkward and to get a drink in him to loosen him up lol. But the other day I said hey to him and a bunch of other people in the class and he just ignored me, that's the kind of behavior that makes me thinks he might be an ahole rather than shy. So if he really is just a shy guy what's my next step?

[tigger68]

Sometimes I think that people think I am concieted or something because I don't speak to them. I sometimes just get tongue tied or am afraid I'll say the wrong thing, especially if there are a few people around. If your friend knows him better and says he is shy and socially awkward I am sure he is. I wouldn't take the facebook deactivation personally either. I did that a couple weeks ago without telling any of my fb friends and it had nothing to do with anyone but me.

[jello2610]

Thanks tigger68 for your perspective. What is the best way to get him to feel comfortable around me? I thought talking to him on fb would make him more comfortable around me if he is shy in person and he seemed more open but it just seems kind of awkward now in person. Also we're on Thanksgiving break so I won't be seeing/ talking to him for a while since he's not on fb and i don't have his number or email...