What are the signs after NC?

[aminaSa]

Lets say you did NC for a time and then he/she or you break the NC and the conversation goes on ,how can you tell if the dumper is being just friendly or he/she is interested in more?

[lonelyheart2]

I guess if they keep the conversation going after one or two messages and then suggest to meet up

[sonypirates]

The ONLY way you will know is if they tell you they're only being friendly or they are interested in something more. Beyond that it is all speculation.

[GreenCupcake]

I agree with lonelyheart. If they still stick around then it CAN be a positive thing. No guarantees though.

[lanaa]

if they talk about unnecessary stuff,if its only friendly they will be keep it nice but nothing else

[Fela Kuti]

The ONLY way you will know is if they tell you they're only being friendly or they are interested in something more. Beyond that it is all speculation.

 

What if they don't say anything after some weeks but keep showing positive signs? Is it okay to ask?

[Nick Lansing]

What if they don't say anything after some weeks but keep showing positive signs? Is it okay to ask?

 

What's worked pretty well for me is to just ask if they want to meet for lunch or coffee or a drink. Only do this, though, if you won't be crushed if they say no.

[AnnaN]

What's worked pretty well for me is to just ask if they want to meet for lunch or coffee or a drink. Only do this, though, if you won't be crushed if they say no.

 

How can I do that when there's NC? Should I broke it one day and ask the ex to meet? Or is it better to establish a LC first?

[Nick Lansing]

How can I do that when there's NC? Should I broke it one day and ask the ex to meet? Or is it better to establish a LC first?

 

I meant if you are hearing from the dumper.

 

I'm not an advocate of total NC if you do want to reconcile with someone. I recognize it may be needed to get over the pain of a breakup, and I certainly don't think the"dumpee" should initiate any contact with the "dumper" for the first few weeks at least, but after that I think some very light contact (emailing a link or something) is OK, so long as you have no expectations.

 

But if a few months or so have passed, and the "dumper/dumpee" dynamic has kind of faded away, and the dumper seems to be making more frequent contact, and it's fun and light, I don't see the harm in asking if the "dumper" wants to meet up for a coffee or a drink or what have you.

 

I think it's fairly rare for the dumper to straight-up ask you to hang out -- at least that's been my experience. It may be little different since I'm a guy and it's still more expected that the guy do the asking out.

[AutumnBorn]

How can I do that when there's NC? Should I broke it one day and ask the ex to meet? Or is it better to establish a LC first?

 

 

Anna, it seems there is LC already - your signature states you broke NC on the 4th and 14th and the break up was October 28th. Why are you calling it NC and what's your purpose in trying to maintain it?

[Mellie]

I went 60 days NC, then the dumper got in touch on his birthday, now we to and fro by email - probably 50 odd since NC ended? It's not quantity you're looking for, it's content. I've seen nothing to suggest any desire to reconcile so I can only presume that there is none.

[deeplongbreath]

How can I do that when there's NC? Should I broke it one day and ask the ex to meet? Or is it better to establish a LC first?

 

I would suggest LC first. Suggesting to meet is very likely to scare the hell out of your ex, and that is not what you want. Take things slow, act friendly, see how it goes.

[winniethepooh]

Lets say you did NC for a time and then he/she or you break the NC and the conversation goes on ,how can you tell if the dumper is being just friendly or he/she is interested in more?

Well, you could ask them