AnnaN Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Background story, boyfriend of 4 years (we never had serious arguments, fights, we were in love and happy together), dumped me in one night, without previous indication or talking, because after 4 years in a relationship, he wants to be alone, he is not sure whether he is the relationship or commitment guy and wants to figure out other things in his life that he doesn't like, his career etc, still living with his parents at 31, he is confused and doesn't know where he stands in life. . He said he is not interested in meeting other women, he just wants to be alone for the next years, he loves me and cares about me, if he wanted a woman to spend his life with, I would be the one. He may regret it but it is his decision and he will live with that. I accepted it without crying, begging, I only asked him if he was sure. That was more than 3 weeks ago... I haven't seen him again. I called him once a few days later we had a casual how you are doing convo. And I also texted him a simple happy birthday message, he called me and he said he is doing nothing special, he just go to work, he asked about my job and studies and told me to focus on them. The first days I was a mess, I couldn't eat, or sleep. A week later, I started feeling a little better, went out a couple of times, started again doing my hair, my make up, girly things like that. Then I read many articles and some books about relationships and how to bring the ex back. All these made me feel better because they kept me hoping he will come back. Pretty bad thing... At this point, I still can do anything considering my job and studies. I can't concentrate and I have no motivation to do anything. It was actually the worst period to break up with me, I had a lot to do with my postgraduate studies, the last month was crucial, and I am afraid that now I am at a point where I can't go on any more, I may have to leave it although it was something I tried hard to achieve for the last two years. There might be still time but I really still can't do anything. Another thing is that these last weeks my two best girlfriends moved away because of their work, and they will be back in June... I feel so lonely, I have almost no one to talk, just my family but I don't want to keep showing my mother how miserable I still am About him, I know he stays in every night, he doesn't even go out on Friday and Saturday nights like he always wanted. He spends them at home (his parents and sister live there, too). So, there was no other woman, no desire to live the single life again. He preferred the "nothing" over me. I must admit I check some times his facebook profile. He had never written anything but yesterday he wrote something like "we act without prior thinking, we are afraid to love and be loved, we chose to leave because of fear and finally we die without having lived". I am at a point where I start thinking my life without him. Now I am not sure if I took him back in case he comes begging full of regrets... He made me suffer a lot and I know I would never feel secured and the same again. I am really upset about how he managed to affect the other aspects in my life, like my studies and projects and I am in a difficult position right now... The only moments that I completely forgot about him, was when I met someone and I liked him and we were flirting a little bit. But I didn't want to do a rebound thing just to feel better for a while. I was scared and let it go. I need a motivation to move on now that I am losing hope for good... Link to comment
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