Am I just being insecure?

[LSgirl]

Me and my bf have been together over 10 months. Hes a very independent guy with different groups of friends. Im more of an introvert and like to stay home and always make time to see him. I also do hang out with my own friends. However, im used to hanging out with my exes all the time when we were together, but that was in my early 20s and we didnt have too many things to do.

 

Im 26 now and bf is 27. We hang out around 3 times a week. Last night i spent the night at his house and he said to his roommate that they were going to go and shoot guns at the range. I know his roommate is leaving in two weeks and prob wants to spend time with him, but it bothered me that he doesnt usually tell me his plans until that day or night before. Like i said earlier with old exes id sleep over and wed spend that whole next day together.

 

Today he got a call from his work to come in for a couple hours at 3pm (this is true bc i saw part of a text message from his work pop on his iphone screen) then i overheard him telling his roommate after his work they can head out to the gun range. But then my bf also told me his friend invited him to a BBQ and wanted to do that too. The thing is, he knows ive always to shoot guns but he didnt invite me, nor invite me to the bbq. Sometimes he invites sometimes not. I dont usually invite him out with my friends coworkers bc they have nothing in common and i know my bf has lots of other ppl to hang out with. Im glad he does invite me out other times tho. Am i just being needy?

 

Also he went to get takeout breakfast for us diwn the street on his motorcycle but didnt invite me to come. Im sitting on his bed right now typing this out on my iphone lol. I guesd im more used to exes including me in everything, i want him to have fun but i know he has other friends he wants to see. Anyone else get like this? Otherwise hes very caring, humanitarian, intelligent ( but quite the drinker lol) so i dont want to overlook his good qualities.

 

How do i stoo worrying hes having fun without me? He will drop me home today and i plan to just stay home and read a book and its a saturday. Im broke and dont want to spend money on happy hour with my gfs lol.

[alwaysmoving]

Sounds like you need more communication. If you don't tell him that you'd like him to tell you about plans or include you in them then he isn't going to know to invite you. It seems to me that this guy isn't used to being in a relationship. Some guys are just totally oblivious. Tell him you want to go maybe? If he doesn't want to invite you and continues to be selfish with his time then he isn't the guy for you. I'd hate to sleep over my boyfriend's house and then overhear him planning his day without including me in it whatsoever.

[LSgirl]

Before me he was engaged to a girl and with her for 8 years but she cheated on him. Im just not sure if i need to relax and let him enjoy his other activities or if i have good readons to feel insecure.

[neocorp]

He seems so independent, I also think that he should be thinking that he controls the relationship. Right this point, does he try to control your life I mean; does he says where to go,with who, try to control your actions?

[LSgirl]

Hi Neocorp, no he's not controlling in anyway. In fact, he doesn't ever ask what I do or who I'm with. He trusts me and I trust him. I'll usually tell him what I'm up to anyway. He always asks what I feel like eating, which restaurant I want to go to, lets me watch whatever on his television. I also don't ask what he's doing or who he's with, if he wants to tell me then he can. I only ask if I'm trying to make conversation. He actually encourages me to hang out with my friends and just wants to see me happy.

[LSgirl]

So, I'm even more confused now. Since he dropped me off on Saturday afternoon, I e-mailed him that night saying how I still felt a little bit sick and that I was going to sleep. I attached a song that reminded me of him and gave him a kiss on the e-mail. He never called that night but I assume it's bc he read the e-mail and thought I would be sleeping which is fine. The next day I never heard from him (yesterday) the e-mail didn't require a response but it would have been nice if he did reply.

 

So then I call him around 7:30pm last night. He was very drunk (which doesn't bother me, he likes to drink/relax on the weekends) and he said he was watching a show "The Walking Dead". I shouldn't have kept talking to him since he was drunk anyway. I asked him how his day was and I couldn't really hear what he was saying, he just said he had a busy day. Then I asked about the show and then talked about a show I recommended and he interrupted and said sort of jokingly "I'm trying to watch the show" and then I said "okay well I'll talk to you later" and he said "you know im just kidding. are you mad?" I didn't want to keep talking to him when he was drunk. He said he'd call me in 30 min but I didn't expect him to since he was too drunk to rememeber and he never did. Then this morning I e-mailed him around 10am (he goes to work at 8am) and I wrote "Hey how are you? I called you last night but you didn't sound too good" and no reply. That was 3 hours ago. I know it was only 3 hours ago, but i feel like I haven't really from him since he's dropped me off on Saturday. It's Monday today. I think I'm just over-analyzing and being paranoid about this. I was thinking about texting him but I don't want to bother him anymore. Maybe he's busy at work even though he's usually pretty good about responding to e-mails. Should I just not bother him anymore and wait for him to contact me?

 

Tonight his roommate's band is opening for another band I want to see. Last week he said he might try to get free tickets, but haven't talked about it since. I would think he wouldn't go to it without me since he hadn't even heard of that band and knows I like them. If I don't hear from him at all today, then I know something's up. We usually talk to each other at least once a day so I'm just worried. It's about 1PM now and i hate how much I let these paranoias effect myself. I should just not even think about it and carry on about my day.