Why do people treat you this way????

[jsw]

I just don't understand it when pele st stop calling and returning your messages. Everything was going well and you don't even want to give it a chance? Even if you tried it and it wasn't working for you, you make us guess and sit and wonder why and what went wrong....constantly going through our heads the things that WE could have done differently when really, we did nothing to deserve this.

 

Why is that people just do not have the respect to call you back to say that it isn't working out? If none has done it or had it done to rebut found some positive way of dealing with it, I would love to hear one...

[sonypirates]

I have tons of friends who are girls who come to me asking this same thing. They spend so much time wondering * * * is going on.

 

Silence is their message to you. It's probably mostly employed in this manner to avoid any confrontation.

 

While it's not necessarily the honorable or more dignified way to go about things it does get their point accross.

[LaKings55]

Yep, seems people of all ages, genders, etc do this nowadays. Incredibly rude, and all I can say is rather than continuing to bother with them, just let them go. They're not worth your time

[Cmaj7th]

It's easier to avoid someone than to say you aren't interested. It's rude and you shouldn't dwell on it

[Philos]

I think just going cold on someone isn't really a rude thing.

 

The person's other options are to either lie to you with something generic (Would hearing "It just isn't working out for me" be any easier?) or tell you the truth, which is definitely not helpful. What if he told you he didn't want to go out with you because you were short, or because he thought your voice was funny, that you didn't have any long-term goals, or that the way you talked annoyed him? It would crush your confidence about something in particular and make you really self-conscious about it.

 

That's why it's sometimes better to just offer silence within reason. It depends how much contact, how many dates, etc.

[motley802]

I think just going cold on someone isn't really a rude thing.

 

The person's other options are to either lie to you with something generic (Would hearing "It just isn't working out for me" be any easier?) or tell you the truth, which is definitely not helpful. What if he told you he didn't want to go out with you because you were short, or because he thought your voice was funny, that you didn't have any long-term goals, or that the way you talked annoyed him? It would crush your confidence about something in particular and make you really self-conscious about it.

 

That's why it's sometimes better to just offer silence within reason. It depends how much contact, how many dates, etc.

 

The way you convey rejection is important. If you say following sentence then you are neither lying nor crushing their confidence -

 

"Even though you seem nice and genuine, I felt we are not a good match and I would like to wish you the best".

 

I have said that to girls and almost each one of them responded back with "thank you".

 

Lastly, I strongly believe your true character is revealed by the way you treat someone with whom you have nothing to gain.

[LoveInWinter]

The way you convey rejection is important. If you say following sentence then you are neither lying nor crushing their confidence -

 

"Even though you seem nice and genuine, I felt we are not a good match and I would like to wish you the best".

 

I have said that to girls and almost each one of them responded back with "thank you".

 

Lastly, I strongly believe your true character is revealed by the way you treat someone with whom you have nothing to gain.

 

I couldn't agree more with you.

 

Personally, I was once rejected with similarly kind and encouraging words. It was more than three years ago, and I still think very highly of this person's character.