jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 So just when you think it is all good, you are hit with a text from your ex? You mentally prepared yourself for it to be cool, not over-zealous, or needy and just be cool. It plays out just like you intended, but then you are left confused. What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Is that they thought of me just to say hey or was it more. Then you go back to the NC/LC not knowing when they will meet next. For you who have been here, how did your situation turn out? Example: It was 2 weeks ago from Sunday before I heard a peep from my ex and this was the conversation: Her: How are you Me: Im good, U? (Sent this reply 3 hours after her first text) Her: Chilling Me: how r the boys Her: They r good Me: Glad u all r well. Thanks for the text Her: Sure. I text u hours ago Me: My bad. nice to hear from you though Her: U too Like this was just too simple, it makes no sense. If you didnt really want anything why would you send me a text. Go F'n figure. Link to comment
Snowy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Don't even bother justifying this. She could've texted you for any arbitrary reason. It's a waste of time trying to read into it. Assumptions lead to expectations which lead to dissappointments. So don't bother. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Don't even bother justifying this. She could've texted you for any arbitary reason. It's a waste of time trying to read into it. Assumptions lead to expectations which leads to dissappointments. So don't bother. agree. loulou x Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Yeah My thoughts.. It sucks that the brain often trumps the heart in these instances. Its like putting a carrot in front of a donkey. Let me put this text message out here and then see how much I can get out of the poor soul. Today I am in a mood. While you wait for contact, once you get it the gratification is short lived. Then the reality hits and you are like why, when is the next time they call, should I text. This is such BS. Link to comment
Snowy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Yeah these things will always happen after a break up. You just have to know how to deal with them in ways that won't hurt yourself. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Like this was just too simple, it makes no sense. If you didnt really want anything why would you send me a text. Go F'n figure. One of the questions I have beat myself up with MANY MANY MAAANY times! I can't tell you how many times I have over analyzed a random text from the ex in the past for hours, days, weeks, MONTHS even. Sometimes it really does mean nothing though. There is no way of knowing why they really sent it. Could be they miss us, could be they are feeling guilty, lonely, need an ego boost. Could be a WHOLE list of things. Bottom line is we don't know because we aren't in their heads. The over analyzing is what kills us. I personally hate those pointless text conversations, I have gotten many in the past from my ex. It just leaves your head spinning and you wondering 'WHY!?' but try not to over-analyze it (I know way easier said then done) but trust me you will drive yourself insane. You replied very well and handled it great. That's all you can do. Link to comment
KronicMan Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 shes back with her ex right? she shouldnt be texting--and you shouldnt be talking to her if shes back with the ex... disappear Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 hmm...that's what i was saying to you yesterday, it's all ups n downs hun, im 2 n a half months into my sentence lol so im a little more used to it than you.... next time she texts, don't answer, each time you do she takes a little bit more from you. loulou x Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 shes back with her ex right? she shouldnt be texting--and you shouldnt be talking to her if shes back with the ex... disappear KronicMan. I dont know if she is or not. I am keeping myself prtected from this type of information. I can only speculate and assume and the way I feel why would I do that. I just feel like, an ex is not going to text you just to see how u r? I mean there are many other avenues especially just checking a fb or something where they can get that info. I am just venting, helps to get it out then keep it in. Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 hmm...that's what i was saying to you yesterday, it's all ups n downs hun, im 2 n a half months into my sentence lol so im a little more used to it than you.... next time she texts, don't answer, each time you do she takes a little bit more from you. loulou x Loulou, You are right this is exactly what you told me yesterday, man I guess yesterday was an up. This morning however i am just like * * * , why? And then here comes all the thoughts. Regardless if you want to think about it or not, it is going to happen. But you knowing my situation, as far as how I treated her, and me being the rebound guy, and her saying she wants to be with me just not right now she needs to get her straight whats the point. Again in my heart and logically, I cant see her just sending a text to me to say how are you and that really be it. But whatever... Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 take charge and tell her to f-off if she texts again Bunghole, I feel that stance but as a I am trying to be "christian" that is not an option for me. I want to talk to her and I dont. I want to be with her again at some point. No I dont want to be a doormat nor do I want to be needy. I guess back to NC and go from there. Link to comment
John3572 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Who does she think she is to mention that three hours past since she text you. She should get over herself. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Well i know it's tempting to tell her to f'off but where's the dignity in that? Something better than that, is to ignore her....she finished with you, that's it, over, you're out of her life, she needs to know now how that feels. She now needs to live with her decision. loulou x Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Who does she think she is to mention that three hours past since she text you. She should get over herself. John, She didnt mention the three hours. I was just writing that to share that I waited 3 hours before I gave her any response. Let be honest three hours to wait is merely a minute to 2 weeks of waiting. Regardless if I say I wasnt waiting we both know the truth. Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Thanks Robin! I have been trying to handle myself with class and dignity throughout this situation but it just ticks me off. i am like I want to hear from her. I do, then I am like what is it for. During the whol conversation i am just telling myself be cool, dont show you are anxious or excited just be short and nuetral. After the conversation I felt that i had gotten some power back that I just mand up instead of caving like a female. Regardless of the situation, I still feel that I will go back to NC/LC unless she texts me. I think a friends ship maybe reconcilation could be possible (anything is) so I dont want to shut her out completely, but I do not want to also be ran over used and abused. Link to comment
jsd43953 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Loulou, I know you dont know me, but from reading about me I am sure you know I would not do that even though I feel like ripping into her. Hurt only begets hurt unless you allow yourself to heal, so that is the road I have to take. In all honesty I want to ignore her, but friends and/or the possibilty of a reconcilation is in my mind so I feel that I need to think that through. At this point i really feel in my heart that NC/LC (if she initiates) contact is what I have to do. It sucks, and it leaves me feeling like this but out of love do we make sacrifices? Link to comment
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