Do i Tell her how i feel and risk loosing her friendship ??

[stevo1565]

Hi Guys,

 

Been a while since i was on here I split with my ex a few months back and mad a real effort to meet new people. I met a girl who is from spain living in the UK at first was just friends but recently over the past month or so i have developed more towards her. We pretty much have spent every weekend together speak almost every day etc. I told her a few weeks back but was really drunk her response was just friends since then i guess you could say we have become closer she has stayed over at mine a few times and we have shared a bed although nothing has happened. She posts pictures of us when we were out and people have been asking is she your girlfriend you guys look really close.

 

On Friday I went out with her for dinner and another friend and his girlfriend the waiters were spanish so instant connection two of them took a liking to her and i just tried to not let it bother me although it did. Today she tells me she has gone to go drinking with them both which i just tried to say thats nice have a good time etc.

 

My problem is this i know she probably see's me as a best friend more than anything as ive helped her anyway i can now im at the point where i don't know what to do Do i risk telling her again and loosing her as a friend or just create some distance and hope it goes away ???? I know she's out with the two guys today which im not going to lie tears me apart a little. Any Advice greatlly appreciated or even what to say / send to her to explain.

 

Thanks in advance

[anya1607307555]

What did you tell her exactly, when she said 'just friends'?

 

My instinct is to advise you to put some distance between you and take her at her words.

[stevo1565]

Hey Anya

 

Thanks for your reply we were out one night and both a little drunk and she asked me whats the matter as it has been playing on my mind for a while so i said to her I really like you as a friend and enjoy spending time with you but im starting to like you more than a friend to which she said you are my best friend in the UK and have helped me so much we are just friends.

Since i said that ive tried to just be a friend but its not working and my feeling just grow stronger she has also become closer with me on the Friday we both stayed at my friends shared the same bed and slept in each others arms all my friends when they see us together say that it looks like its more than friends the way she is with me.

I dont want to seem weird by just dropping of the face of the earth but im also not sure that explaining things to her is the best action to take.

[anya1607307555]

Okay, she said you are just friends. She is grateful to you for helping her but that is it. I would keep this in the forefront of your mind when considering the situation.

 

She isn't being fair to you with her behaviour since your declaration. Perhaps she feels she is just being friendly, perhaps she's totally unaware of how she is saying one thing yet doing another. Fact is, for whatever reason, she is not taking responsibility for her actions.

 

You, however, are aware of her behaviour; you know how much it hurts to be on the receiving end of it. You can't change how she behaves/reacts but you can take responsibility for your own actions. You can show her that you do have boundaries and are unwilling to play her game. If you cannot offer just friendship then that's fine. Why put yourself through emotional pain, trying to please her.

[stevo1565]

Thanks Anya

 

I've just gone for a drive to think it all through and decided ill just be honest with her and tell her that its not working for me to just be friends and then back away from the whole thing as i know deep down ive just been doing loads of things just to please her knowing that at some point this would happen. Just glad this site is her to get an honest opinion thanks again