panda28 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 So me and my ex-boyfriend broke up two weeks ago and it ended with a 10 second phone call. Before the break up we didn't see each other for four days so it has been a while since I've seen him in person. There is no contact at all since then so I didn't get any closure or answers. Should I break the NC rule and ask him if we can talk? I have no intention of getting back together, I just want closure. Should I ask him to talk with me or just leave it the way things are? Link to comment
Springs Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 What were the reasons for the break up? It sounds all very abrupt from what you say so if it was me, I couldn't move on until I had some closure, but that's just me Link to comment
panda28 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 I couldn't really pin point one exact reason for it but there were some problems in the relationship built up over time and we got into arguments a lot. Link to comment
Springs Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 How long were you together and was the break up mutual or did one of you initiate it? Link to comment
panda28 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 2.5 years and it was mutual I would say. The only problem I had was the indecency of breaking up over the phone. I wanted to talk it out in person but he didn't want to. Link to comment
Springs Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 It's a long time to be together to end it with a 10 second phonecall. However it sounds like you are accepting it's over and know that having a 'talk' would definitely not be aimed at getting back together. Contacting him may help you to get the closure you want, but it may hurt him because he is trying to move on. But it has been two weeks and if it was me, I know I would need to have answers to a few questions. Maybe send an email or text to ask if he is willing to talk just because you feel unresolved because of the way it happened and see if he responds Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Get your closure and then move on if it helps u feel better Link to comment
John3572 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I would keep it two weeks and counting. For him to allow you guys to breakup with a 10 second phone call it is something that he's been thinking about for a while. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. You're only going to open a can of worms and get your feelings hurt by talking to him. Closure is something only you can give yourself. I've been in your shoes, I know it hurts. When I broke up with a woman after only four months, it hurt like hell. It took me longer to get over the breakup than the relationship. I've read that the hottest love has the coldest end though. It hurts when you love someone and they seemingly toss you to the wolves. You'll live, I did. Link to comment
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