butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I left a birthday present in advance before we broke up with the ex. It was to be given to him on the day of his birthday which is today. I have been no contact for 6 weeks. He must have got the present by now. I am so depressed he did not even bother to say thank you. I cannot believe he would be this mean. He also did not bother to reply to the break up email I sent at 6 weeks... let us put it like this, all in all today is not one of my best days. After 2 years together I feel like at least he should be civil and polite... I feel like crap! Link to comment
fleurs Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Who broke up with whom? Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 He is your ex. You need to accept that and have zero expectations from him. It's not about being polite or civil. It's about healing. That's the whole point of NC. Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Who broke up with whom? I wanted us to talk, I tried to get us to talk he was not willing to talk so I sent him the break up email and he did not respond Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 He is your ex. You need to accept that and have zero expectations from him. It's not about being polite or civil. It's about healing. That's the whole point of NC. Yeah, but it still feels like crap to feel rejected even in absentia Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't understand why you would expect a reply from him, when you broke up with him? Dumpee's don't usually thank their dumpers when receiving presents, they feel confused. Why would you do that to him? Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yeah, but it still feels like crap to feel rejected even in absentia Well what part of a break up were you expecting to feel good? Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't understand why you would expect a reply from him, when you broke up with him? Dumpee's don't usually thank their dumpers when receiving presents, they feel confused. Why would you do that to him? Although I verbalised the unsaid and put it in an email, he is very much the dumper. He checked out on us. I did not. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 You should just let it go. The present obviously has just re-affirmed to you that he does not care. You should use it as the final straw to move on. I know right? easier said that done. But in a way, I'm glad he didn't reply. If he had of, you'd be feeling a lot more worse than you do now. He had 6 weeks to get back to you on that email, so make today the day that you are willing to move on. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Although I verbalised the unsaid and put it in an email, he is very much the dumper. He checked out on us. I did not. OK, then this begs the question, what made you think he would respond to a birthday present from you if he was the one that checked out? Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 OK, then this begs the question, what made you think he would respond to a birthday present from you if he was the one that checked out? Politeness plus you always hope there is hope. I left the present before the break up in advance way back in August. Break up was in October... I am a bit stunned how our seemly good relationship could end like this where he leaves without an explanation, without ever giving me a second thought and without nothing. It stings even if I try to move on past this Link to comment
thejigsup Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Okay, I am going to be blunt, but it will explain things to you so that you can move on. This is the most likely scenario: he doesn't love you anymore and knows that contact of any kind will build up false hopes in you. He doesn't want to hurt you again and so he remains silent. He is being kind, really. A lot of peole when they are the dumper play games with the dumpee for their own amusement. He hasn't done that. That tells me that while he doesn't love you anymore and has moved on, he has no desire to hurt you. He sound's pretty classy and smart to me. Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Okay, I am going to be blunt, but it will explain things to you so that you can move on. This is the most likely scenario: he doesn't love you anymore and knows that contact of any kind will build up false hopes in you. He doesn't want to hurt you again and so he remains silent. He is being kind, really. A lot of peole when they are the dumper play games with the dumpee for their own amusement. He hasn't done that. That tells me that while he doesn't love you anymore and has moved on, he has no desire to hurt you. He sound's pretty classy and smart to me. Thanks. Bitter pill to take but I shall try to think of it like that and move on. Link to comment
John3572 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't think you should've sent an e-mail. That's really immature. It's also very cold. I wouldn't responded either. Electronic communication for serious issues is asking for trouble. Like others have said, dumpee's usually don't thank dumpers for anything. I'm not saying that it's right but it's how it goes. If I were him I would've at least text a thank you. Not saying that I would've wanted the flood gates of conversation opened but if someone gives you a gift I think a thank you is in order. Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't think you should've sent an e-mail. That's really immature. It's also very cold. I wouldn't responded either. Electronic communication for serious issues is asking for trouble. Like others have said, dumpee's usually don't thank dumpers for anything. I'm not saying that it's right but it's how it goes. If I were him I would've at least text a thank you. Not saying that I would've wanted the flood gates of conversation opened but if someone gives you a gift I think a thank you is in order. I asked for us to talk he was not open to talking. The option was to keep silent and do nothing which was ridiculous so I sent him an email a very sober and polite one for my own closure but even that closure did not mean much bse I still do not feel done. U are lucky if u have a receptive ex but mine was difficult through and through. It was impossible to talk about repairing the relationship, impossible to talk about moving on... u just never won either way I am moving on anyway but it still stings. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 In the long run, its better for you that he didn't respond to the email or the gift... Be honest with youself... If he had, would you be posting a 'He just text me... What does this mean' thread! It is a bitter pill to take for sure but I do agree with thejigsup. It's better to have no hope at all that false hope... It will make it easier in the long run! Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 In the long run, its better for you that he didn't respond to the email or the gift... Be honest with youself... If he had, would you be posting a 'He just text me... What does this mean' thread! It is a bitter pill to take for sure but I do agree with thejigsup. It's better to have no hope at all that false hope... It will make it easier in the long run! Okay, I shall let it go and give up all hope and just move on and work on being okay. Thanks for answering Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Okay, I shall let it go and give up all hope and just move on and work on being okay. Thanks for answering Don't give up all hope... Just all hope for this particular guy. And you will be more than ok, you will be absolutely fine. One day, you'll meet someone who deserves you and wonder why you ever cared what this guy thought! Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Don't give up all hope... Just all hope for this particular guy. And you will be more than ok, you will be absolutely fine. One day, you'll meet someone who deserves you and wonder why you ever cared what this guy thought! Thanks and amen to that. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Well, he doesn't care about you. And actually you put the label that it's "HIS PRESENT". It doesn't need to be HIS present. To make a bigger relief, you may give it to someone who doesn't hope any presents from you at all and make ANY person happy about it and feel happy yourself that you made a nice thing for that day He doesn't appreciate you, he doesn't want to communicate with you and you're the only one who's still struggling at this. Next time just put your effort on someone who would appreciate it more than HIM. Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Well, he doesn't care about you. And actually you put the label that it's "HIS PRESENT". It doesn't need to be HIS present. To make a bigger relief, you may give it to someone who doesn't hope any presents from you at all and make ANY person happy about it and feel happy yourself that you made a nice thing for that day He doesn't appreciate you, he doesn't want to communicate with you and you're the only one who's still struggling at this. Next time just put your effort on someone who would appreciate it more than HIM. Sigh. I shall be okay in time Link to comment
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