residue of guys

[sally02]

Question:

 

Would you stay with a girl who is a residue of some guys? Does it matter to you if what you have is a left over? Since this girl slept with several men in the past.

[LDRohnos]

You're asking if a guy would stay with a girl that's had several sexual partners before you?

[FathomFear]

The problem would be with the person who sees someone as "residue" just because they have a sexual history. That's not a paticularly healthy mindset to have towards a human being.

[sally02]

If we think harder, women who have slept with a few guys are residue. Why? Because their body have been used by guys . Or you can call it second hand, third hand , fourth hand.

 

The term might not be good but the concept is the same. Hard to take but that's how it is.

[TheVP]

Sally, Are you the "residue girl"?

[Nearbot]

Would you stay with a guy who is a residue of some girls? Does it matter to you if what you have is a left over? Since this guy slept with several women in the past.

[sally02]

For guys, there's a little bit of tolerance. Let's just say that double standard exist regardless. It's a fact. I don't mind as long as he didn't sleep with 50 other women. But for a girl, we are usually considered cheap if we have sexually active. Low class, tacky, call it what you like but that's how it is . Like it or not.

[Saffron_]

Maybe women who have slept with more than one guy should be lined up and euthanised.

 

OP, I take it you're a virgin and also a guy right? It's telling that you're only commenting on women who have had more than 1 sexual partner and not men.

[Saffron_]

Maybe in your culture...

[Saffron_]

But for a girl, we are usually considered cheap if we have sexually active. Low class, tacky, call it what you like but that's how it is . Like it or not.

 

It's not a fact and it's not how it is. Unless the woman's had a high number of partners but people now tend to be equally disgusted by men who put it about all over the place. You're living in the dark ages.

[Nearbot]

That's really old school. I've never met a guy that cares about his partner's sexual past. If a girl has numerous partners to the extent that the whole town knows about it, that's a different story, but seriously, all guys I know assume that girls have slept with previous boyfriends unless they're like 16.

 

Like someone above said, there's a problem with the person who sees a girl as low class or tacky for having a sexual history.

[LDRohnos]

Actually my brother ended up having to break up with one of his girlfriend simply because he couldn't get over her past. She had many more sexual partners than he did and there was nothing wrong with that other than the fact that my brother was a bit "behind" in the dating curve and felt he had to compete with all her ex's. He essentially ruined the relationship.

 

Sally, in my eyes there's nothing wrong with you having 150 sexual partners in your lifetime if that's what you so chose to do. That's not to say every man is going to think this way, take my brother for example. Don't let the opinion of one man or one group of people sully your own personal self-esteem because you didn't fit into their standards. I'm talking about someone living in a westernized culture though. I cannot speak for you if you live in a society where having a few sexual partners isn't socially acceptable.

[WockaWocka]

Wow. If you are a guy then I hope you do this woman a favor by leaving her alone. If you are a woman then I hope you find some type of counseling or advice to help you stop feeling so awful about yourself and your past.

[Stay_home]

For me personally, yes, it would be bother me to know that the woman I'm seeing or interested in has lived a very promisicious lifestyle. I know the past is the past and all that, but that is a deal breaker for me. ~

[breath.o.fresh.air]

I think there's a distinct difference between having a sexual history and being promiscuous. I mean, if you've had multiple sex partners but were actually dating most if not all, that's one thing. But if it's primarily one-night-stands, I could see a potential red flag when looking for an SO. That being said, I feel that's more a difference in lifestyle choice than a problem with their sexual history itself.

 

Sally, I don't know what cultural bounds you live within, but in most western cultures, having a sexual history is not seen as a moral issue, and would not be a problem. The past is the past, and as long as it stays in the past, who cares? If somebody can't accept you for who you are TODAY, then to me, they aren't worth it. And quite frankly, sex and physical chemistry are such important aspects of a relationship that most people expect it before marriage. As a result, they expect that their partner has had sexual experiences before (both men and women). I actually have friends(both male and female) who would find waiting for marriage for sex to be a deal breaker as a result of the importance of sexual/physical chemistry. That doesn't mean they don't respect their partner, or would push them into anything they didn't want to do. It's just their perspective on relationships. I don't think desiring computability on both a physical and emotional level makes anyone a pig.

 

Maybe if you gave us a bit of context we could better respond to your concerns. What is your cultural background? Are you a man or woman? WHY do you think this way?

[avman]

Thread closed.