Should I contact my ex?

[jj12]

Hey everyone, I'm a bit confused about my situation. My ex and I broke up a little over 3 weeks ago. He needed space to figure out what he wants after a month of fighting. I was having a pretty rough week the following week (anniversary of my mother's death) and him and I had a pretty big argument. He had been texting me the week of our break up about random things and I explained that was confusing to me and he can't be doing that and needs complete space. I told him I also had some issues to sort out for myself with grieving for my mom and everything (first year of the anniversary) and agreed with him it's good we aren't together right now.

 

When the conversation ended it was pretty confusing. I told him when he was ready to contact me and he said when one of us is ready they will contact the other. He also said at that time he wanted nothing to do with me after the fight, but hoped we would get back together in the future but there's not telling how long that could ever take.

 

His mother contacted me last week to let me know she hoped things work out, to just ignore him for now and that she knows how he feels about me so she hopes we work things out.

 

My ex contacted me on Tuesday this week saying "How've you been?" I said "I've been good thanks." He then said good to hear and i told him i hope he's been doing as well as I have. He said more or less and then complimented my Halloween costume from pictures he had seen. I said thanks and he said he had to run and we said bye.

 

Now, I'm just finding myself a little confused. I regret responded to him when he chatted me, but I was kind of caught off guard. I blocked him on my chat just in case that happens again. I miss him a lot and would like to get back together, I just don't want to make a mistake. I'm not sure if he's waiting for me to make the next move and contact him or if I should wait for him to say something. Anyone have any advice? Thanks.

[happymeboy]

Seems like he broke contact so then dont do a thing till he contacts you asking to talk about your relationship. Why to bother to contact him when you dont know what he wants and he doesnt make any effort for it ? I wouldnt. You break contact with me and there you stay till you die cause you wont be hearing from me

[loulou37]

I think you should just let him be for now, he said he wanted space, it's only been 3 weeks n that is nothing...i've been 3 weeks NC and i'm just starting to get my head together, now i see we were both to blame for the end of our relationship and see where we went wrong, time is great for getting things into perspective.

 

Don't contact him, you'll be sure what he's thinking, if and when he contacts you.

 

loulou x

[Eocsor]

Well, your stated goal is you want to get back together so if he contacts you and you block him how is that helpful?

 

When they want to reconcile or are thinking about it they don't come running back screaming I love you most of the time. It's baby steps and unfortunately you have to take your chances and that might mean getting hurt again.

 

It takes two to make a reconcilliation work. You can't expect it to happen if you aren't willing to put yourself out there a bit.

[jj12]

Right, I understand it's baby steps and I'm willing to put myself out there a bit. The thing is last time I reached out to him and we spoke it turned into a huge argument so I've really been trying to respect the fact he needs his space and I need mine.

 

I struggled with the idea of blocking him on my chat. I want to talk to him, I do, I just don't want to make a mistake. I understand it takes it baby steps to get back to reconciling, I'm just very confused about what to do. I've been told by virtually everyone to continue to give him more space and when he knows what he wants he will contact me. I feel like reconciliation can't really happen until he's decided how he feels about me.