My ex laughs at our relationship

[Tmania]

So my ex and I broke up on good terms in the summer. I was heartbroken for months. We came back to school and she completely ignored me even though she said she wanted to be friends. In september I hosted a party for a bunch of people at school. By nature of the party I invited her to, it was not really an option not to invite her, and she probably would have come anyways unless I had explicitly asker her not too (and in that case I'm the * * * * * * * ). At my house/party she hooks up with a guy. The next day I send her an fb message telling her I thought it was disrespectful. She gets pissed at me. I respond and there were a few things that I shouldn't have said. Although I never called her any names or anything like that. She says he hates me. She then gets into a relationship with the new guy.

 

We were no contact for about 2 months and then she texts me an asks for a movie back. I gave it back to her and I wrote a note to her, I felt a little bad for what I said and I wanted to do the right thing and own up to it. I said what she did hurt me and I'm sorry for a few of the things I said. I then thanked her for the good times and wished her and her new guy luck. I've subsequently heard through the grapevine that she basically laughed at my letter, her words were, "I think he's gay [laughing]".

 

There were a few other personal things that I told her that she now laughs about with her friends. I remember when she used to talk about her exes like they were garbage and I know for a fact this how she feels about me. I don't get why she does this, I am 100% sure she cared about me when we were together and now she feels like I'm just some piece of Sh*t that she never cared about at all. It's not a coping mechanism either because that would mean it's her way of getting over me, but she is way over me and completely happy with her new guy.

 

I don't know why I care about her opinion. She doesn't care at all about me. After learning all this I just feel so betrayed and taken advantage of.

 

Thanks, I just needed to share this with someone. On the plus side at least I'm not heartbroken over her anymore.

[LDRohnos]

Chalk it up to immaturity. You're going to see girls (and guys) doing these things so long as you're dating people. She was hurt in some way by your breaking up...maybe she took it much harder than you thought she did.

 

Some people mask hurt and pain by covering them up with anger and resentment. It could very well be this is what she's doing..I'd bet on it. Don't assume someone's feelings, chances are you're wrong. It's amazing how someone can paint on a face but actually feel completely different.

 

Don't worry about her opinion of you, in the end it doesn't matter one bit. You're obviously a sensitive guy, hold onto that trait. She read your letter then laughed about it with other people... something that you sent privately to her. She's just a confused girl and it seems like you have a really good head on your shoulders.

[SpottiOtti]

Agreed with LDRoh, she sounds very immature. I also agree that she is fronting to avoid showing her true feelings (which is a very immature way to handle your feelings). You were being responsible and adult by apologizing and admitting that you acted the way you did because she hurt you. The ability to understand why you do the things you do, and to acknowledge it to the people you care about even if it means losing face - that is a very valuable ability to have, which will serve you well in future relationships with others. So be proud of that, because it takes some people (such as your ex) much longer to develop.

 

Also, it's okay to care about her opinion. You guys were together intimately for awhile; it takes some time for that to fade.

[BlondeeBabee77]

She is being very immature. And i know from previous experience that she probably doesn't hate you. I acted the same way towards my ex when i really still liked him A LOT. he thought i hated him when i did not at all, I acted that way because I wanted him to think I was okay and had moved on because he broke up with me and I didn't want to seem heartbroken. It's possible that's what she's doing..

[wheelerdealer]

Yeah I agree with what's been said. It sounds like you took the high road and did the mature thing here. It helped you because you got to express your feelings and not keep them bottled up and also to get some more closure after the house party make-out thing.

 

Like Spotti said she is probably wearing a mask around you and towards other people she knows will relay information back to you in the future, again very immature... But keep in mind people around most likely aren't sitting around having a laugh at your expense. Most probably see the integrity in what you did, though they probably wouldn't let her know about it.

 

What she said to you concerning the ex boyfriends thing, that may have been her just showing her immaturity yet again.. along with an over exaggeration to show you were her main interest or something along those lines. That's reaching a bit; I guess what I mean is don't let her apparent apathy towards you and the relationship take away from the positive things you can get out of your experience within the relationship. Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

[Tmania]

She says he hates me

 

Oops that was a typo I meant to says "she says she hates me"

 

And thanks for all the responses, when it comes to this girl I constantly doubt myself, I tend to see things from her perspective and that means if she blames me then I tend to believe what she's saying. But all the responses are really helping me to see the good in myself.

[Mr_LFA]

Girls can be cruel! what a little skank for hooking up at YOUR party. I'd have told her to * * * * off right there, if it were me. You kept you cool which is always good though. keep your head up buddy and forget about her. You're better than that. Go find yourself another girl who'll respect you.