i depend on my ex for happiness

[bravegirl04]

my ex and i were together for almost 2 years. We broke up a couple months ago, but our relationship hasnt changed we just dont have that title. Now i must say that he is my life; i go to him before anybody. He understands my like no other. So since weve been broken up he has started to talk to other women and it hurts so bad. Especially when we both go to the same college and the schoool is so small and i see him all the time.

He told me that before we get back together i have to work myself. So my question is how do i grow personally and not depend on him to bring me happiness?

[bravegirl04]

please help!!!

[reflex]

hi ya i think the best thing u can do is the no contack rule as i think your still herting inside. this can help in so many ways and can help the friendship u have with your ex much better as u have some time apart. tell him that u need some time apart for a bit so both of us can find what we both had b4 u went u. like hanging out with your old friends doing new hobbis. least this will keep your mind of things. i hope this has help in some way.

 

take care

Reflex

[lilsuthurncutie]

Hey! Well, me and my *x* (he goes to my church) broke up about 3 months ago.. and i couldn't help call him.. and i felt the same way as you do.. he would be the first person i would run to for advice, well we started dating again and we went to the mall one day w/ a couple of friends and he was definitly flirting w/ one of my friends (keep in mind we had *just* gotten back together) so that night we talked and he kept bring her up so i broke up w/ him the next day.. well a couple days later they were together.. i was heartbroken.. and i still had the same feelings for him.. i had to see him at church and it was so hard, but eventually i guess my feelings just faded away and i am not interested anymore.. there are 2 things that could happen.. 1.) you get back together or 2.) you dont.. and you'll just5 have to think it over.. think about it.. why did you guys break up and do you REALLY want to get back together? good luck! keep us posted! hope this helped at least a little??

[lady00]

what do you mean your relationship hasn't changed? are u guys still intimate? if so, that's probably not a good idea given the fact that you are broken up. if he's talking to other girls then you should feel free to talk to other guys, not to get back at him or anything but just so he knows he can't have his cake and eat it too. He can't know that you'll be there waiting for him if he decides to come back. He needs to know that there is a real risk that he will lose you. What did he mean when he said you had to work on yourself? In what way? Does he think he has to work on himself too?

[bravegirl04]

Thank you for the response. Unfortantly, we are still intimate which makes our relationship even harder. Before we got to college our relationship was just the same as it was when we were together but now that we are in college, things are different. I totally understand the NC, but in a college with only 1,600 students and him living on the floor right below mine, its kinda hard. But i have to try because im sure he thinks hes a real playa right now. And im not doing it anymore hes not gonna make me look like a fool. When he said i needed to work on myself i guess he meant i need to stop depending on others to make me happy and i need to love myself.

[lady00]

deleted.

[Fionazou]

Yeah, I have the some question as Lady00 has asked you that why you said your relationship hasn't changed, in what way, has he still love you? One more thing is about how you will grow personally without him. I think that love is a two-way street. If you're not giving him good reasons to be in loved with you, he probably isn't which means you must have something natural or valuable on yourself that attracts him to love you. Certainly, you are independent enough to find something that is worthy to do it, either for your ex and yourself.