preoccupied Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 My story is posted elsewhere on here, I am almost 2 weeks into finding out the man I thought I loved for 6 years (who is an also addict) is not the person I thought he was becasue he was also a cheat and liar. In 2 weeks time I am moving out so I have just 2 weeks left before I begin NC (I am dreading that part). I am on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. A friend has just asked me to come to Thailand for Xmas with her, although I have a wedding to attend on the 22nd Dec so I would be flying out on the 23rd Dec to meet her there then I need to be back in the UK for 9th Jan. Needless to say its the most expensive time to book flights, they'll cost something like £1400. My dilema is this: I have £20K savings which are meant to be for an eventual house deposit. To get the property I want I need another £6K deposit. I am currently managing to save about 2K a year. Should I dip into these savings and throw caution to the wind and go on an expensive holiday? It'll set me back in terms of saving by a year (which can be a long time). I really want to - some winter sun will do wonders for my mood. But I can't help think of the extra costs becasue its peak time to travel. It would be 2/3rds of that price if I went later in Jan - but thats not when my friend is there. I just can't trust myself to make a decision anymore! - What would you do? Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Save the money for the house. Furnishing the house will cost more than the trip. Although Thailand does sound fun.. Link to comment
i got burned Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 live in the moment. Link to comment
Mellie Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Can you ask your friend if you can go in the New Year? When I was toing and froing a lot I found that January flights were a third of what you can expect to pay over the Christmas period. You can have the best of both worlds that way. Edit: I think I read that wrong - I presumed the friend lived there and was inviting you. Personally I'd be loathed to pay such an over-inflated price. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I can't help that think you wouldn't feel better for long! Infact, when you got back, you would have post holiday blues to cope with on top of a break up and a massive hole in your savings! Link to comment
changeacomin Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I say Go!!! A new experience will be good for you. It'll get your head out of the space it's in now. Have fun!!! Link to comment
Alison245 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I'm biased as I've just forked out for an airfare to Australia over Xmas period as I'm 2 months post breakup and the thought of new year in sydney is getting me through these rubbish cold days and giving me something to focus on.. BUT I do agree that things will probably seem worse when I land back in the UK in January but I will cross that bridge when I get to it! GO FOR IT! Link to comment
superfox Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Hey she'll have a fabulous tan and the January sales! Win, win! Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I can't help that think you wouldn't feel better for long! Infact, when you got back, you would have post holiday blues to cope with on top of a break up and a massive hole in your savings! Agree, you can't run away from these problems, i've tried it, you could be anywhere in the world and the problems are right there with you. loulou x Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Hey she'll have a fabulous tan and the January sales! Win, win! ^lol. True I just try to avoid high highs if I'm not on form, but thats cos I worry about hitting the ground too hard afterwards. Hey, thats just me, personally I don't cope well with that! Link to comment
DN Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 No, don't do it. Yes, you may have a great holiday but it could go awry for many different reasons including your state of mind, the weather, bad hotels or whatever and then you will regret it. But the satisfaction of buying your own home will stay with you as long as you own it and beyond - it will serve you much better in the long-term and maybe in the short as well. Link to comment
replytome Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thailand is dirt cheap...you'll find it hard to spend loads of money even. I went for 10 days following my break up, and i was spending as much as I could. I say do it, BUT make sure you spend it on stuff that is once in a life time...scuba diving, skydiving, etc...not on popping champagne in clubs etc... because then it's not worth it. Just before thailand I went to Australia for two months (went to thailand as a last stop before going home) and I did literally everything. Skydive, bungee, hanggliding, horse riding, scuba diving, snorkelling, sailing etc etc...in thailand i did alot too. When I look back i do not regret spending the money at all. And it sure helped me with the break up. I felt superior in a way, and as if I won against the ex. Immature I know, but helped me so who cares. Have fun my dude! Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I'm not sure how the situation it is now in Thailand considering the flooding situation, but you might want to put that under consideration. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I would say don't. I did this last time I broke up with my ex. I ended up spending 30k on a trip. Made me feel great short term but long term didn't really change a lot apart from breaking me out of my shell a bit. I kind of regret it now as I could have almost put a deposit on a house with that money. All in all depends what you want to get out of a trip. If its to get over the ex I found it didn't help me. If its to help grow yourself it helped me a lot by going on my own and having to force myself to meet people and make new friends. Again this was just my experience edit: Then again Thailand is my favorite place to visit and can be very cheap to Link to comment
preoccupied Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Oh my goodness, its literally 50/50 in terms of DO it/Don't do it. That's exactly what's going on in my head! I spoke to my sister who said "memories are more precious than debt" and recommends I go, as does another of my close friends. I have applied for a 0% interest free purchase for 15 month credit card. If I'm accepted I'll take that as my sign from above that I should go. It then gives me 15 months to pay it off and I can pull in my belt so not dip into my house deposit savings. Fingers crossed! It's almost like 'heads or tails'. Link to comment
TheVP Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 If you could go on a shopping spree with your ex's credit card, I think you'll end up feeling GREAT! Link to comment
Day88 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Do it. I blew mine on a new car and motorbike With 20k I think you can treat yourself and just save harder when you get back for a few months. Link to comment
peterepeat Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 do it clear your head take the risk you dont have to spend 20k set a budget youll be able save up again if you don't go to nuts Link to comment
BlueRose66 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 The last time I broke up in 2005 I went on a trip and it was fantastic. But it was months down the road and it was more of a healing trip. It did me a world of good. I am leaving for the Big Island of Hawaii on the 17th, for a yoga healing type trip. I am about 4 months out of BU. My trips were specifically of the purpose of healing and getting myself back. How much is the trip going to cost you? You said it will put you back buying a house about a year. Can you go to a spa maybe a bit closer? Like a long weekend somewhere where you can get pampered? I own two houses and I am glad I have them, but I also am very glad for all my travel experiences. They enriched my life greatly. I have a friend that lives in Thailand, in Chiang Mai. That is more in the Mountains and he told us there is no flooding up there. Look closely into where you will be going and all the details of it. OK, so if it was me, I would settle for something closer and go to a spa where I could get body treatments, and continue to heal. Link to comment
preoccupied Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Well its Done! Flights booked to Krabi for 3 weeks, landing on Xmas eve! .. It is actually helping me focus on getting through my current situation and BU so already its had a positive effect. I cannot wait and feel thankful I am in a position to be able to do this. Link to comment
BlueRose66 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Well, good for you. Have a great time. I go to Hawaii on Thursday so i am pretty excited. Link to comment
seanryder Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Sorry to hear your story. I would say hold onto your money, the pleasure from the holiday would be short lived and I think you would regret putting such a big dent in your savings. By the way, the rough translation of the word "addict" is "a liar and a cheat" as far as I'm concerned. Link to comment
seanryder Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Sorry, only caught up now....didn't see pages 2 and 3. Have a great time! Link to comment
nattpanter Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Ive been through alot since March after my gf broke up with me, and Im still struggeling... However...2 months ago I decided to go to the Philippines in Dec for 6 weeks. I refinanced my morgage to my appartment and got some money out of that for this trip and other future trips. Im a firm beliver that time is the most valuable you have. Being sensible with money is a good thing but if clashes with my "time-value" I always let it rule what to do. In other words, you dont get younger an there is never a better moment to spoil yourself than in this moment. Far to many people, including myself, wait, save, wait a little more before we do things we dream of in our lives...and we only miss out on life. The planing of my trip has been something that kept me up and I hope that I might get my focus away from the pain and put things in some perspective when I go there. I say go for it! Allow yourself to spend a part of your savings...this is the moment you need it and Im sure it is more fun to tell your grandchildren about ur trip to Asia instead of the day you bought the house Link to comment
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