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Met someone on the net...What should I do?


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Found this forum by chance....I hope that someone could offer me some advice sometime soon because this deals with an issue that might happen this weekend.



Bear with with me. This may turn out to be a LOOOONNNNGGGGGG entry.


I've started randomly talking to this guy that I met from the net. At first, the contact began back in 2009. He had found my profile on MySpace ---enjoyed reading the blogs that I had written about my traveling experiences and decided to send me messages. We had had some distant back and forth messaging...and he was pretty persistent (on a friendly note), but nothing more came out of it. One, I was kind of passive and wasn't really interested...and two, since the development of FB I was hardly logged in to MySpace. So the communication died off.


Fast-foreward to 2010....I get a random e-mail notification from MySpace that he had sent me an email. He was basically just checking in to see how I was doing, and if I was interested in talking with him sometime. Out of curiosity, I had added him onto FB....but again, I was still giving him the cold shoulder. He would drop me a note here and there....but nothing really came out of it.


Now, onward to about two weeks ago. He sent me a random IM one day asking how I was doing...and from there I stopped being a little miss-priss and started chatting with him. And thank goodness I did. He and I have been talking non-stop since then...every single evening until the wee-hours of the morning. From everything to our interests, daily lives...experiences...etc. So far we have a lot of common interests....and he has a great personality. I guess from that we've developed a really easy connection. He sends me text messages every now and then...asking about my day and the like.....and we've also talked on the phone and via cam. Now it is apparent that we find each other both physically and emotionally attractive...But here's my problem.


I have been in a downhill live-in relationship for the last couple of years and am in the processes of splitting up. My new friend is aware ( I told him that I was in a relationship when we had begun chatting) of this and has not made any advances towards me in a romantic sort of way. Everything has been pretty innocent (minus some flirting here and there) but we have both been truthful about our situations and what it is that we want. Right now we are just equally keen on getting to know each other and eventually lead that to a sustainable friendship. There have been some talks to meeting each other...perhaps in his city or mine..(we live about a 6 hour train ride away)...and I really would like to meet him. We've recently chatted about seeing each other possibly this weekend. But I am again stuck in a predicament where I am worried about the current stance of the relationship and how I could be able to get away to see him.


I've talked to fam...especially my mother who knows the ins-and-outs of my current relationship. She knows that my boyfriend and I are growing apart in a lot of ways and I am now in a state where I REALLY want more out of my life. She knows how abrasive my bf has been towards me these last couple of years and thinks that this new "experience" or "connection" that I'm having with this new guy is understandable...and to basically "follow my heart".


I'm stuck as to what I should do....I really want to see him...but I still have not completely broken it off with my bf. I don't want to start any drama or cause any complications. I know how my bf is when it comes to me meeting people outside of our relationship...and I can whole-heartedly say that I want to meet this guy just to get to know him.




Also, by doing some research online on my "friend" today (to find out more information about him...if we were to meet up) and I just noticed today that he has two profiles on FB. One being for his friends/fam/work (it is private so I can't view it)...and the one where we are connected (where there is not a lot of information...and he has a lot of black females as friends. I happen to be an african-american woman..). Should I confront him about this even though it's none of my business or should I just let it go? I just don't want to be another "friendly-fetish-experience-connection" trophy to be added on his list.


Thanks for the help.

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What does your heart tell you? Not what your b/f would act or the if's and but's. Do you honestly see yourself with your current b/f in a long haul? If not, break it off first.


As for his double FB I wouldn't say anything. You two are barely getting to know each other. Besides, the first issue needs to be taken care of first then decide if you want to continue talking with this new guy.

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