he just doesn't understand....

[dimp62003]

alright here's the story. i have been through a lot of crap in all my relationships which is like somewhere around 6 boyfriends...well i finally have found "the one" and hes been the most sweetest guy ever and hes treated me like gold but now all of a sudden hes been different and i cant figure out why. but i know that hes not going to cheat on me becuase hes never cheated on me (that i know of) and hes never cheated on any of his other girlfriends.

we have been going out for over a year now and we are talkin about getting married and everything. but like tonight he is going to this party and there was like a BIG misscommunication and yeah we got into a fight and everything...well there is going to be girls out there and he just doesnt get why im so upset about him going out there where theres going to be drinking and girls.

so i need some help on how to explain something like this to him because i dont know what to say to him about it anymore, he's a very hard person to explain things to. so any help what so ever will be wonderful. i mean am i wrong for getting upset about him going and gettin drunk where there is going to be girls at and how we are so close and everything? maybe im just jealous i dont know somebody PLEASE HELP!!!! thanx

[Blah Toolz]

You should be able to trust him to go to a party.... just because there's girls and drinking there, doesn't mean he's going to cheat on you.

 

You've been with him for a year now, don't you think you should be secure enough to let him go to a party on his own? Maybe he just wants to kick back and goof off with his guy friends?

[dimp62003]

yeah i see what you're saying...its just pretty much all the guys around here when they go to a party they go to a party to find a girl. its just hard for me to trust any guy. and when all my other b/f's would go to a party thats when they would cheat.

[Blah Toolz]

Well, I guess I can see where some of your insecurities are stemming from. I don't really know the backstory on this one though.

 

Did he invite you to go along with you? I had a girlfriend that was really insecure about me going anywhere without her, not just parties. She always thought I was going to cheat on her for some reason. I assured her that I just wanted to chill with my boys... I would even invite her. When she said she didn't want to go, I would say "Well, I haven't seen them in a while, and I really want to go see my friends." Then we'd fight about that later on.

 

I didn't really understand her logic. I thought that if you had a girlfriend, you were still allowed to hang out with your friends if you wanted... alone if you wanted, right? She would make me feel guilty about this, and I still feel guilty to this day, now that we are broken up.

 

I don't know... did he invite you to go along? Trust is a huge part of the relationship. I don't really know the circumstances of him going, or what the party is like.

[dimp62003]

no he didn't ask me to go but thats a whole nother story cause my mom is like a freak and doesn't like the whole "party" thing.

but its not so much that i think that hes going to cheat on me its just when im with him there is like all these girls that yell at him and stuff so then thats what i think that its like when he goes to these parties. and when drinking is involved it makes me worried cuz not everybody knows what you're doing when you are drunk off your butt so thats what makes me worried. i dont know its just i dont know what goes on at theses parties or what he acts like and thats what makes me so freaked out and he doesn't realize that, and i dont know how to make him realize that. im not sayin that i dont want him to go out and have fun with his friends but here lately thats all that he wants to do. he will hang out with me for a few hours and then just like that he has to go so he can go hang out with his buddies and then he just ignors me the rest of the night

[Just A Teen]

I understand exactly where your coming from.... I know what you mean because i know what can do to you so.... Its just knowing that you dont know whats going to happen and mixed in with drinking mixed in with other girls around there that probably will flirt or something with him.....I wouldn't so pointed it towards him though unless you told him you really dont want him to go. A real boyfriend would listen to you so.. i hope that helped a lil..