Quiet in a female dominated workplace

[waitingtobe]

I work in a hospital as a nurse, working mainly with females. There are all kinds of personalities on the unit, from loud/obnoxious to more quiet/sweet. I am quiet, keep to myself, spoke when spoken too, and smile. When I'm not as busy, I joke around, and even make small talk (which I hate anyways). I just don't keep the conversation going for 12 hours straight. Being an introvert, I get drained after a little while, and then retreat into my work to recover for a bit. But I'm always cordial (I think). The thing is, as would be expected, there are more extroverts on the floor, who stand out. When they're all together, I have a rough shift because it's too much for me, and then I feel like I'm being rude for not socializing with them the whole time. I have a good work ethic and am professional. I just feel out-numbered sometimes, and don't know if I'm working in the right environment for my personality. Someone said to me, "the good thing about you is that you don't say much." They didn't sound mean about it, just neutral. I wasn't sure how to take it though. I don't think the majority of people like or understand quiet people. I guess I'm a little insecure about this. Not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

[Snny]

It could be interpreted that you don't participate in the gossip or say anything negative. Not everyone likes to be around extroverts and extroverts can get off-task. As long as you are doing your job, that what matters in the end.

[sunshine1]

This sounds like it is written by me. I work in a doctor's office as an administrative assistant....and I am the exact same way. I don't have any advice for you, buit just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat. I always try to be polite, but I'm quiet and shy and just not great at holding conversations at work. Especially because I'm usually busy trying to get my work done. I try really hard to "fit - in" but I'm just not loud and extroverted by nature. I worry about looking rude & seeming cold, but I just don't know what to say.

 

I constantly say that I think the majority of people don't like/understand quiet people. I think though as long as you are being polite and doing your job, you shouldn't worry TOO much about it.

[acfan]

Just assuming you are a male? I am a guy and I am quiet and get negative reactions from females who think I am stuck up or have an attitude. I know women are more verbal and sometimes think if you don't talk that you don't like them. I am an introvert and work nights to limit the stimulation of the workplace. It sounds like you are doing what you need to take care of yourself. I would try to decide for yourself whether you like your work and if you are happy in your environment.

[waitingtobe]

Thanks for your replies,

Actually, I'm a female. My title relates to the generalization that most females are at least somewhat chatty, and most of the world is extroverted. Was just feeling a bit out of my element and questioning my overall career path at the time of writing. Was thinking, maybe I should get a job in computers, or as a writer (would love that if it guaranteed some decent pay...bills). I still am constantly questioning if I'm going to move elsewhere, but I'm not going to try and worry too much about it

[abitbroken]

I would just focus on your patients and doing the best job for them. It is nice to be on friendly terms with coworkers - but I think in your position it is noted that you are "friendly" but are also neutral. By making small talk only, you are not involved in gossip, so while you are no one's"best friend" everyone is fine working with you. Count your blessings.

[DoGGYtREAts]

Not being involved in workplace gossip also has some distinct advantages, reduces stress, and avoids double-talk drama. As long as your doing you job and not getting on bad side of your co workers, i wouldn;t worry

[Someday_Soon]

I think quiet/passive people at work are well liked. People don't want to work with those who cause trouble, although nearly every job site I've ever worked at had those types of people. I try to focus on doing a good job so people will have less of a reason to say something negative to me.

[Messiah]

As an introvert I understand how you feel. If you think you'd be happier working on your own maybe you should look into medical billing, transcription, or medical lab specialist? I worked in a medical billing office where we had a lot of introverts who quietly worked peacefully together, those types of jobs cater to introverts, wheras nursing probably caters to extroverts.

[Blazr]

I was last working as the only male in a small department of all females. In addition, I'm relatively quiet and reserved although I tried to be overall pleasant and conversational when I felt it was appropriate. Sometimes I would get comments about how quiet I was but I felt like it shouldn't have been a factor as long as my work was good. Unfortunately my department was part of a larger sales organization where people were very concerned with appearances and personalities. I became very close with a coworker who was also tight with our manager. One day she told me that our manager said that she didn't think I was a cultural fit. Two weeks later I was terminated without any real explanation. I was a contractor and the account manager from my agency said it wasn't a performance issue, but I knew this supervisor didn't like me. This wasn't the right environment for me obviously.

[waitingtobe]

It can be hard to take when people point it out, or actually dislike your demeanor/personality when you are not involving yourself in any drama...but some people thrive on drama I guess, and want to see that "spunk" in their coworkers. I have no intention to be like that, especially when there's actual work and patients to spend time with (notice a hint of irritability). But just thought I'd update that I do plan to leave this area. I have found something that involves mainly one-on-one patient care, which I'm thrilled about. I think it would suit me and my ability to listen more.

[timlondon]

Your colleague pointed out that you are reserved, but meant it in a good way. I imagine that reflects their opinion of you as a good nurse and someone who just gets on with the job. I'd work with you any day over the loudmouth ward gossip. All sorts of people are nurses, and it's your clinical skills and ability to relate to patients that are the key.