What does she mean? Sorry this is a pretty long story!

[srj2121]

Well, to start off, this is the first time i'm writing something like this, i've never really written in a forum before, definitely a first for anything dating related, so i'm sorry if I can't really explain this stuff to well. Besides that, i'm still technically just a kid, i'm in high school and theres nothing but mixed signals from people. Though this topic is about a girl, probably the nicest and sweetest girl i've ever had the chance of meeting, though i'm never sure of what she's thinking.

 

To start off, me and this girl dated for a little while. Though it was more of half-dating because her parents are very strict about the whole idea of her being with a guy right now. Anyway, as odd as it is, we met online, even though it wasn't a dating site, and we started talking for a long time. Again I reiterate that she is one of the nicest, if not the nicest, girl i've ever met, practically her whole mind was always focused on what other people wanted and never about what she may want. I don't mean to make myself sound egotistical, but its similar to how I am, I'd much rather help someone else out then have someone help me. So we pretty much were perfect for one another! She got along great with my family, her friends loved me, and I knew that she cared about me. One time I vividly remember is when we were on a Skype call and my younger sister wanted to finally see her, and my sister thought she was beautiful (to of course she disagreed to). I left the room for a little while, and when I came back they were talking and laughing, I asked what was going on, but the only thing they replied to was "we can't tell you!" and then started spamming the small comment board on Skype so I couldn't see what they were apparently messaging about. But later that day my sister decided to show me, and my sister asked her if she wanted to be my real girlfriend, and she replied yes, but only if he asks me, with a I was so happy at that moment, I can't even describe it.

 

Then one day, out of the blue, things seemed to change between us. While I was still the same, she became much less affectionate and even distant from me, I would ask if anything was wrong, but she would always say nothing. Eventually I finally grasped that she didn't feel the same way she did any more, and I won't lie, I was crushed. No explanation, nothing, she wouldn't even say it either, but it was all gone.She still wanted to be friends with me, and I honestly tried, but it can be really hard to honestly talk to someone you truly cared about who just threw you under the bus. Especially when about 3-4 weeks later, she got a new boyfriend. This is were I lost most contact with her, I was weak and I couldn't handle seeing her with someone else. We would occasionally talk, but it wasn't the same as it once was. I know they broke after a month or so, but i'm not the type of person who would try and take advantage of her when she was sad, I still stayed away.

 

But the rare times I did talk to her, I learned a lot about recent events that had happened in her family. The poor girl has been through so much, I won't detail it on here, but its something no family should have to see or go through, and she was still so selfless to everyone, always trying to be happy, while I couldn't be the real friend she needed. Maybe it was that she was the first girl I really truly liked and wanted to be with, maybe i'm just weak, i'm not sure, but I wish I could of been her friend at that time.

 

Now, 3 1/2 months later, I sent her a simple "hey" message a few days back, with a near immediate response. I was defiantly surprised, I never expected her to even look at a message I would send her! After a few texts between us, she called me without even letting me know. She said she watched a scary movie and was "afraid something was going to get her" and didn't want me to hang up or leave. So I didn't, and we talked practically non stop for an hour and a half, it was really great. It was just as friends, and I was really happy from it. But one part that stuck out the most was that during the call, she invited me to a concert she's performing in, which is in about 2-3 weeks, which shocked me quite a bit. I said yes, since i'd never seen her perform before, and with a little bit of cute silence, we then started talking again. Yet, even more memorable then that, is after that hour and a half of non stop talking, where things got really quiet, and I honestly didn't know what to talk about. I would bring up a few times if she wanted me to go, or if we should just talk later, but every time I would ask she would immediately say "no don't go, stay!" So I did, we would go through at the most 20 minutes without saying a word, but she would always tell me to stay. Occasionally to break the silence she would say "Soooo..." and I would ask some random dumb question, but it stayed this way for another hour and a half. At about 12:30-1:00 a.m. she said she was getting tired and was gonna try and sleep, to which i'd told her several times before that if she was tired to go to sleep anyway. Then when we were saying bye, she still wanted to talk and asked me to text her! And again I did, until she finally fell asleep, well I assume.

 

All in all, thats my story, so i'm asking, what does this all mean? Does she maybe have feelings for me, or am I just not seeing the full picture. I'm not saying at all that I want to get back together, I just want some opinions about the whole situation. If you really did read all of this, I can't thank you enough, i'm sorry I wrote so much. Even if no one replies, it was nice to write all of this down, and give me time to think about the whole thing to!

[marshmallito]

You are both young, so relationships are bound to be as confusing to her as they are for you. You wrote that her family has been going through a hard time... so she may not be able to handle any extra drama or make commitments.

If you can handle it, be her friend, shoulder, whatever she needs, but don't expect too much. If she is already dealing with turmoil, it isn't fair if her good supportive friend srj2121 turns around and demands to be a boyfriend.

If at any point she stops appreciating you, leave her be, but it sounds like you are both gaining from the relationship as it currently exists.