I'm so confused & upset.

[stateofmind]

I posted my story yesterday about my ex. As I am writing this he is in my bed sleeping becuase he's sick. He came to my house to chill out when he wasn't feeling well over going to anyone else's house so I suppose that counts for something. But, I have such a hard time understanding our relationship.

 

We are best friends and are always together. It's just like when we were a couple only we don't ever brooch the subject of geting back together and we refer to each other as just friends.

 

I'm so confused. I need some advice about this. I don't know if I should hope for us to get back together or just except thing the way that they are and move on.[/url]

[Protex]

Because of the relationship he did have with you. He most likely considers you a closer friend than anyone else, and that's why he's at YOUR house now, in YOUR bed.

 

It COULD mean he wants back together, but if he never touches on that subject than it's unlikely.

 

If him being close to you is making it hard for you to move-on, maybe you should suggest some time apart.

[Openminded]

Spoken like a man of experience. I agree with protex, except the fact that he may very want to get back together but doesnt have the nerve to bring it up. A lot of people have too much pride to admit their true feelings. He might be hoping you bring it up.

[mamamaria]

if you dont want to just be friends, meaning, if every time your with him as his friend you wish you were more, then end it. SOMETIMES its good to be selfish because if your being friends with him secretly not liking it because you want more but your just afraid of losing him, then in the end youll hurt even worse because after a while youll crack, and you know it, and when he says he just wants you as a friend youll be crushed. or just ask him whats going on, if he wants more then go for it if you want, if he wants a friends then move on, dont talk to him for a while and try not to slip up because the more you talk to him them ore youll miss him until you move on.

basically, THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. what makes you happy, really happy. what will get your farther in life? i dont think the situation now will.

good luck, marie

[stateofmind]

My ex and I spoke last night. I brought up the subject of relationships, very casually. He said that after our relationship, he realized that relationships just don't work for him because he gave so much of his heart to "us" and in the end we didn't work out.

 

So his feelings are that there's too much sacrifice of a person's inviduality in relationships. He said that he was happy with our friendship becuase there was no obligation between us and he does things for me because he wants to rather than feeling like he has to.

 

I don't know how I feel about this. At least I know now that there is no future for us. I'm glad to have him as a close friend but I wonder if he will hold me back from being with someone else. He does send mixed signals and I know that when I was dating someone else it did bother him.

But, I don't think that I should wait around for someone who is so jaded about relationships. I'm really confused and feeling a little numb.

 

I'm adding a little more to this. My ex just left and I feel so sad. We talked a little more about relationships and I know that we won't be going past friendship. I feel so torn. I just want to cry. I really so over him until we started to spend time together.