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Special day tomorrow and would like your advice.


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Well before I begin, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my post and potentially giving me your advice.


Basically in August me and my ex broke up because she was losing feelings for me because I was heading off to college in a week. (3 hours away) I thought for sure we would at least try and work things out, but the sudden break up shocked and hurt me. A few weeks before that we were talking about how we would definitely try and work things out because she cared that much for me. Yet, the week we broke up she all of sudden "she didn't believe in long distant relationships." Obviously I'll never know that exact reason why she stopped caring for me, but it comes down to that she just really lost feelings for me because of the lack of proximity.


Well thankfully I didn't beg, plead, or even post depressive facebook statuses of our breakup. I simply accepted the breakup like I've read on a lot of breakup advice internet sites and had minimum contact with her the past few months. I made sure I would not let her think I was hurt from the situation and that in the future whenever she saw me again that I was doing much better with myself than when she knew me. But I still think about her all the time.


About 3 weeks ago after barely any contact from each other I get an initiation text from her saying "Sam, I really do miss you." I just looked at that text for many minutes wondering if I should call her or just text back. I remained calm and texted back with just a friendly conversation with her. I didn't wanna call and seem too concerned because maybe it was just her emotions...at that specific time...she just missed. Maybe she remembered a specific time we had together and just had that thought and wanted to text me.

BUT ANYWAYS, I may have been too forward, but I asked her I would be in town that following weekend and asked if she wanted to grab lunch or dinner somewhere and she delightully replied with a yes.


We grabbed dinner 2 weeks ago and I didn't how it would go (because I was nervous as hell!) I've heard so many stories of people when they reunite with their exes after a breakup that they get so nervous, they freeze up and never really ignite that spark again with their ex that they wanted so badly to. We talked for about 2 and a half hours and were forced to leave because the place closed at 11 P.M. It was pretty awesome still having that 'feeling' with her again and could talk about anything with her. There was a little flirtation, but I didn't wanna force anything too soon with her. The next day we talked and ironically my mom is getting married tomorrow...so I asked her 2 weeks ago today if she would like to be my date for my mom's wedding. (my mom wanted me to get a date) She said yes.


Well my tomorrow is the big day for my mom and of course I'm nervous because I have a date with my ex for the evening. My question guys is how should I handle tomorrow?


And I just want to say my expectations are to not get back together with her. My expectations are hoping we ignite feelings for each other again and taking it slowly. If she can create those feelings again with those emotions that she lost for me sometime ago, then maybe we can start 'talking' again. Nothing serious, because I don't want her to feel like were in a LDR and make it feel like a burden to her that I'm 3 hours away. But maybe this will set up a good future for us. Let me know what you think on how I should handle tomorrow.


Thanks, Sam.

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Here's what's going to happen.


You're going to go away to college and in 2 months' time you will have forgotten about this chick completely.


Sounds cruel and unfair? Maybe. But it's the truth. It's the oldest story in the book, kid. You have so much ahead of you that this one girl, no matter how special, will seem like an anecdote inside a Hallmark card....cheesy and best forgotten.


It doesn't really matter what you do with this girl right now, it won't matter in the future.

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Very true, and I get that a lot about the whole college lifestyle. And I've even met some amazing girls at my college already, but I just don't feel that same chemistry that I have with this girl I have right now compared to other girls. My ex is even considering going to the same college as me. I just believe how I handle tomorrow could really put me in a good position for a future with possibly her. Not like marriage-wise, but being someone she will actually look forward to seeing.


camus154- your opinion is a valid one, and trust me I realize that, but for me, you have to realize this is an opportunity for me as a second chance. I respect it, but I'm kinda looking for an answer to help me of how I should handle tomorrow with her. Obviously I feel like we still have a connection, but how do I manage our conection is the tricky part.

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There are no second chances for people as young as you.


You don't know what that means yet, but you will. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing


Well I'm 19 so I have a long ways of managing relationships and going through multiple tough relationships...But I'm gonna give tomorrow a shot. If things don't go the way I would like them to then it's not meant to be. Thanks for your honest input on my situation.


If anyone else has any advice then feel free to explain.

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Ok, you want advise for tomorrow, fair enough.


Don't worry about it. That's the best advice I can give. Just go with her without any expectations. Have fun. Have fun with her. Have fun at your mom's wedding. Have fun being 19. Just....have fun. That's the single most important thing you can do.


I know that seems like trite advice, but trust me...in the long run, that's the best you really can do.

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Thanks, really thank you, I'm stressing too much of what I should or shouldn't say to her tomorrow that I really need to just 'have fun' with the night.


I'll let people on this site know how everything goes tomorrow and share my experience of how I handled everything. And maybe it will help someone with their ex problems in the future.

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